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The Improvement of My Speech

The Improvement of My Speech PEdy2
In the past, I did not prefer to speak in any public place, especially with the English language because, personally, I do not think that public speaking is my strongest skill. Speaking with foreigners is not difficult, but talking in public is a totally different situation. However, in this trimester, I have to study EC3 or what we called public speaking which I can not deny, so I have to face my reluctance to do. During the class, I lectured and tried to catch every information that I could because I knew myself that I am a weak speaker. The first speech that my teacher provided for our class is a personal speech, which topic is about your inspirational person. I chose my older sister to speak and practiced in order to help me to know what parts that I missed, but it seems that I might not have practiced adequately. My overall personal speech’s score is only C+ which is not surprising because during that circumstance, I fell short on some problems that I did not notice. I was certainly nervous about my first speech. There are many mistakes that I made. For example, my pronunciation may not be clear enough. I felt fear when I could not remember my script a bit while speaking in the tension condition. Nevertheless, I might be extremely stressed, but in my second speech which is an informative speech, I will aim my best to develop my score. This informative speech, I have time to prepare my script and also my partner to support others. I was able to practice every part of my speech and gesture language by studying the strategies of my instructor. To clarify, I practiced until I felt confident to talk with my audience. My partner and I were prepared a lot to make our speech better, which we practiced for 2 days together not including a personal practice. I did several types of research and news to support my main points. We recorded the video more than 8 times to find the least mistakes that we made. The improvements that I made during the presentation was my pronunciation and eye contact. I tried to practice some words that I struggled with their pronunciation more often. Besides, I put my notes down in order to be more confident with my own memory. All in all, at my first public speaking, I felt nervous and struggled with many problems such as pronunciation. Therefore, I gathered my mistakes and improved for my informative speech. I practiced and prepared myself to be ready enough with my second speech. I learned through myself, so this time, I felt less nervous and talked more fluently than my first time. I experienced my biggest fears, and I get out of my comfort zone to overcome it by facing it over and over. I may not be the perfect speaker, but presently, I am certainly better than the old me.
In the past, I did not prefer to speak in any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
place,
especially
with the English language
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
,
personally
, I do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
speaking is my strongest
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
. Speaking with foreigners is not difficult,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
talking in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
is a
totally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
situation.
However
, in this trimester, I
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
study EC3 or what we called
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
speaking which I can not deny,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
I
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
face my reluctance to do.

During the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
, I lectured and tried to catch every information that I could
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I knew myself that I am a weak speaker. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
speech
that my teacher provided for our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
is a personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
speech
, which topic is about your inspirational person. I chose my older sister to speak and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
practiced
in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
me to know what parts that I missed,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it seems that I might not have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
practiced
adequately
. My
overall
personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
speech’s
score is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
C+ which is not surprising
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
during that circumstance, I fell short on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
problems that I did not notice. I was
certainly
nervous about my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
speech
. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
mistakes that I made.
For example
, my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pronunciation
may not be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
. I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
felt
fear when I could not remember my script a bit while speaking in the tension condition.
Nevertheless
, I might be
extremely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stressed
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in my second
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
speech
which is an informative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
speech
, I will aim my best to develop my score. This informative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
speech
, I have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to prepare my script and
also
my partner to support others. I was able to practice every part of my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
speech
and gesture language by studying the strategies of my instructor. To clarify, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
practiced
until I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
felt
confident to talk with my audience. My partner and I
were prepared
a lot to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
speech
better, which we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
practiced
for 2 days together not including a personal practice. I did several types of research and news to support my main points. We recorded the video more than 8
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
to find the least mistakes that we made. The improvements that I made during the presentation was my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pronunciation
and eye contact. I tried to practice
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
words that I struggled with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pronunciation
more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
.
Besides
, I put my notes down in order to be more confident with my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
memory.

All in all, at my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
speaking, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
felt
nervous and struggled with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
problems such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pronunciation
.
Therefore
, I gathered my mistakes and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
for my informative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
speech
. I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
practiced
and prepared myself to be ready
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
with my second
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
speech
. I learned through myself,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
felt
less nervous and talked more
fluently
than my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
experienced my biggest fears, and I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
out of my comfort zone to overcome it by facing it over and over.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
may not be the perfect speaker,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
presently
, I am
certainly
better than the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
me.

IELTS essay The Improvement of My Speech

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
494 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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