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It is important for travelers and business people to understand the cultures they come into contact with, however briefly. What are the main advantages of doing so? What do you think is the main disadvantage of not doing so? v.1

It is important for travelers and business people to understand the cultures they come into contact with, however briefly. What are the main advantages of doing so? What do you think is the main disadvantage of not doing so? v. 1
These days, many people argue that governments should provide funds to conduct and control scientific research instead of leaving in the hands of private corporations. In my opinion, I completely agree with this point of view. It is undeniable that there are two significant dangers of private conduct of research. Firstly, some private companies could be tempted to manipulate the results in order to maximize their profits. For those corporations, their priority is the profits and the reputation, and thus they do not pay much attention in the accurate results of the research. Secondly, from ethical perspective, allowing these companies to carry out scientific research is likely to cause profound social consequences. For example, the genetic modified crops, without unproven effects, might result in the whole ecosystem destruction due to meddling with nature. Although national authorities have responsibilities to allocate resources to social welfare, I would believe that they also need to finance in conducting scientific research. Governments should provide funding for universities so that high-quality research can be carried out. In this way, the knowledge, that is gained from the research, would be shared worldwide throughout the academic community. In addition, government- decision making is the best way to prioritize expenditure on specific areas of research, taking in account the needs of society, both present and future. One example is the development of renewable energy to meet growing demands. In conclusion, for all the reasons as mentioned above, I would maintain that conducting scientific research should be governments’ responsibility rather than private companies.
These days,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
should provide funds to conduct and control
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scientific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
instead
of leaving in the hands of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
corporations. In my opinion, I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this point of view.

It is undeniable that there are two significant
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
dangers
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
conduct of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
.
Firstly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
could
be tempted
to manipulate the results in order to maximize their profits. For those corporations, their priority is the profits and the reputation, and
thus
they do not pay much attention in the accurate results of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
.
Secondly
, from ethical perspective, allowing these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
to carry out
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scientific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
is likely to cause profound social consequences.
For example
, the genetic modified crops, without unproven effects, might result in the whole ecosystem destruction due to meddling with nature.

Although national authorities have responsibilities to allocate resources to social welfare, I would believe that they
also
need to finance in conducting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scientific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Governments
should provide funding for universities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that high-quality
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
can
be carried
out. In this way, the knowledge, that
is gained
from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
, would
be shared
worldwide throughout the academic community.
In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government-
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
decision making
is the best way to prioritize expenditure on specific areas of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
, taking in account the needs of society, both present and future. One example is the development of renewable energy to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
growing demands.

In conclusion
, for all the reasons as mentioned above, I would maintain that conducting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scientific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
should be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments’
responsibility
rather
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay It is important for travelers and business people to understand the cultures they come into contact with, however briefly. What are the main advantages of doing so? What do you think is the main disadvantage of not doing so? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
254 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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