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It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction.To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? What sort of punishment should parents and teachers be allowed to use to teach good behaviour to children?

According to the saying, the more we educate children, the better they are. Punishment plays an important role in our society. Reasons that make punishment be important are don't break rule, stay in order, however, punishment is also bad thing. Form my point of view, children should learn the different between right or wrong, but not by punishing them. Because, the two main reasons bad memory to their parent, too weak in physical and mental. The first reason that makes punishment be bad thing is toxic relationship between parents and children. By punishing children with violence, could make them feel unsafe. Furthermore, family is not children safe-zone anymore if children don't have confident to talk with parents, finally children turn their back on family. For example, in family that have authoritarian parent and often beat their children, relationship in family going to be very bad, children may feel dangerous and uncomfortable when they are with their own parents. The second reason is about physical and mental health problem. The physical in early age children get hurt on their body easily. Moreover, punishing children can affect their mental and emotional development, this can lead to depression, anxiety, and suicide. Also, it can affect stages of development in young age. For example, when parent hit children, they get hurt. In some case, parents hit children too hard children need to admit in hospital because they too weak to get beat. In conclusion, teaching early age children to learn the different between right or wrong, I would rather parents and teacher have responsibility to be role-model for children. Punishment is not only affect relationship in family but also affect physical and mental health problem. If it possible, we should stop violence in family before it too late. Not until children get good treat, they will be good person.
According to the saying, the more we educate
children
, the better they are.
Punishment
plays an
important
role in our society.
Reasons
that
make
punishment
be
important
are don't break
rule
, stay in order,
however
,
punishment
is
also
bad
thing. Form my point of view,
children
should learn the
different
between right or
wrong
,
but
not by punishing them.
Because
, the two main
reasons
bad
memory to their
parent
, too weak in
physical
and mental.

The
first
reason
that
makes
punishment
be
bad
thing is toxic relationship between
parents
and
children
. By punishing
children
with violence, could
make
them feel unsafe.
Furthermore
,
family
is not
children
safe-zone anymore if
children
don't have confident to talk with
parents
,
finally
children
turn their back on
family
.
For example
, in
family
that have authoritarian
parent
and
often
beat their
children
, relationship in
family
going to be
very
bad
,
children
may feel
dangerous
and uncomfortable when they are with their
own
parents.

The second
reason
is about
physical
and mental health problem. The
physical
in early age
children
get
hurt on their body
easily
.
Moreover
, punishing
children
can
affect
their mental and emotional development, this can lead to depression, anxiety, and suicide.
Also
, it can
affect
stages of development in young age.
For example
, when
parent
hit
children
, they
get
hurt. In
some
case,
parents
hit
children
too
hard
children
need to admit in hospital
because
they too weak to
get
beat.

In conclusion
, teaching early age
children
to learn the
different
between right or
wrong
, I would
rather
parents
and teacher have responsibility to be role-model for
children
.
Punishment
is not
only
affect
relationship in
family
but
also
affect
physical
and mental health problem. If
it
possible, we should
stop
violence in
family
before
it too late. Not until
children
get
good
treat, they will be
good
person.
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IELTS essay It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction. with this opinion? What sort of punishment should parents and teachers be allowed to use to teach good behaviour to children?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
305 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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