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It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction.To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? What sort of punishment should parents and teachers be allowed to use to teach good behaviour to children?

According to the saying, the more we educate children, the better they are. Punishment plays an important role in our society. Reasons that make punishment be important are don't break rule, stay in order, however, punishment is also bad thing. Form my point of view, children should learn the different between right or wrong, but not by punishing them. Because, the two main reasons bad memory to their parent, too weak in physical and mental. The first reason that makes punishment be bad thing is toxic relationship between parents and children. By punishing children with violence, could make them feel unsafe. Furthermore, family is not children safe-zone anymore if children don't have confident to talk with parents, finally children turn their back on family. For example, in family that have authoritarian parent and often beat their children, relationship in family going to be very bad, children may feel dangerous and uncomfortable when they are with their own parents. The second reason is about physical and mental health problem. The physical in early age children get hurt on their body easily. Moreover, punishing children can affect their mental and emotional development, this can lead to depression, anxiety, and suicide. Also, it can affect stages of development in young age. For example, when parent hit children, they get hurt. In some case, parents hit children too hard children need to admit in hospital because they too weak to get beat. In conclusion, teaching early age children to learn the different between right or wrong, I would rather parents and teacher have responsibility to be role-model for children. Punishment is not only affect relationship in family but also affect physical and mental health problem. If it possible, we should stop violence in family before it too late. Not until children get good treat, they will be good person.
According to the saying, the more we educate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, the better they are.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Punishment
plays an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in our society.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Reasons
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
are don't break
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rule
, stay in order,
however
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
is
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bad
thing. Form my point of view,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should learn the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
between right or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not by punishing them.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
, the two main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bad
memory to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent
, too weak in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
and mental.

The
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bad
thing is toxic relationship between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. By punishing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
with violence, could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them feel unsafe.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
is not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
safe-zone anymore if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
don't have confident to talk with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
,
finally
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
turn their back on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
.
For example
, in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
that have authoritarian
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
beat their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, relationship in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
going to be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bad
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
may feel
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
and uncomfortable when they are with their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
parents.

The second
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
is about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
and mental health problem. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
in early age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
hurt on their body
easily
.
Moreover
, punishing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
affect
their mental and emotional development, this can lead to depression, anxiety, and suicide.
Also
, it can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
affect
stages of development in young age.
For example
, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent
hit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
hurt. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
case,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
hit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
too
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
need to admit in hospital
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they too weak to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
beat.

In conclusion
, teaching early age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to learn the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
between right or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
, I would
rather
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and teacher have responsibility to be role-model for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Punishment
is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
affect
relationship in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
affect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
and mental health problem. If
It seems that the possessive pronoun “its” fits better in this context. Please verify.
it
possible, we should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
violence in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
it too late. Not until
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
treat, they will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
person.
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IELTS essay It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction. with this opinion? What sort of punishment should parents and teachers be allowed to use to teach good behaviour to children?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
305 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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