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All parents want best opportunities for their children.There some people who thinks that schools should teach children skills but others thinks having a wide range of subjects is is better for a children future.Discuss both sides and give your opnion.

Education is considered to be the best tool for building an individual personal and professional life. The concept of education is changed dramatically in the past few years. Education involved a vast amount of discoveries in it. Parents are in search for the best opportunities for their child. They look for opportunities that makes their children a perfect person. But there is contraversery opinion regarding the way of education. There are some people who believe that children should be trained in other skills rather than knowledge in text books, on the other hand there are individuals who thinks teaching a vast number of subjects is required in education. To begin with, education itself is moulding a child into a perfect individual in every aspect. Mere knowledge through text books never creates mental and physical capability of a child. When a student is trained with a plethora of subjects, his knowledge level increases, but when he faces a real life situation this knowledge may not be helpful for him. A student should be brainstormed in other skills like public speaking, communication skill, problem solving skill, outdoor and indoor activities and so on. For example, a student who is good at his studies may fail to speak in front of a large crowd when he is given a chance to speak. Students also must be trained in arts, sports and other extra curriculum activities. There are some schools who teach their students martial arts, swimming and many more. These will help the students to meet emergency situations and they can also help others. On the other hand when pupils are exposed to outbound activities it boosts their confidence. For instance, if a student is given a chance of playing football, he came to understand that winning and losing are part of life. On the other side, when schools start focusing on skills rather than subjects students will divert from their subjects. They may become reluctant to their studies. For example, when student is given more training on his games other than his studies, the chances for him to fail in the exam is high. Secondly, the chances of accidents is high when outbound activities are organised by schools for students. Moreover, there may also students who don’t like these skills training which creates a overburden for them. So concluding, schools must be able to balance between subjects and skills training for their students. One should not overweigh other.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Education
is considered
to be the best tool for building an individual personal and professional life. The concept of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
dramatically
in the past few years.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Education
involved a vast amount of discoveries in it. Parents are in search for the best opportunities for their child. They look for opportunities that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
their children a perfect person.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
there is
Possible spelling mistake found.
contraversery
opinion regarding the way of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
believe that children should
be trained
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
rather
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
in text books, on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand there are individuals
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
Did you mean “think”? Alternatively, check whether the singular of ‘individuals’ should be used.
thinks
teaching a vast number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
is required
in education.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
itself is
Possible spelling mistake. ‘moulding’ is British English.
moulding
a child into a perfect individual in every aspect. Mere
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
through text books never creates mental and physical capability of a child. When a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
is trained
with a plethora of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
, his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
level increases,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
when he faces a real life situation this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
may not be helpful for him. A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
should
be brainstormed
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
like public speaking, communication
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
,
This noun or verb “problem-solving” is spelled with a hyphen.
problem solving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
, outdoor and indoor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on.
For example
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
at his studies may fail to speak in front of a large crowd when he is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
a chance to speak.

Students
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be trained
in arts, sports and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
extra curriculum
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
teach their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
martial arts, swimming and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more. These will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
emergency
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
situations and
they can
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
others. On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand when pupils
are exposed
to outbound
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
it boosts their confidence.
For instance
, if a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
a chance of playing football, he came to understand that winning and losing are part of life.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
side, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
focusing on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
rather
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
will divert from their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
. They may become reluctant to their studies.
For example
, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
more training on his games
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
than his studies, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chances
for him to fail in the exam is high.
Secondly
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chances
of accidents is high when outbound
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
are
Possible spelling mistake. ‘organised’ is British English.
organised
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
.
Moreover
, there may
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
don’t like these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
training which creates
Use “an” instead of ‘a’ if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. ‘an article’, ‘an hour’.
a
overburden for them.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
concluding,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be able to balance between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
training for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
. One should not
Possible spelling mistake found.
overweigh
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
.
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IELTS essay All parents want best opportunities for their children. There some people who thinks that schools should teach children skills but others thinks having a wide range of subjects is is better for a children future.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
406 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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