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It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this opinion? What sort punishments should parents and teachers be allowed to use to teach good behaviour for children? v.43

It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction. with this opinion? What sort punishments should parents and teachers be allowed to use to teach good behaviour for children? v. 43
People are required for crucial decisions in their lives. It is believed that punishment should be given to the younger children in order to help them make better choices from a younger age. According to my opinion this is completely unnecessary and there is a way parents and tutors can help children to develop good habits. Although, Punishment may seem a valid to instil certain values in a child, it method is inaccurate and inhuman. Children who face consequences for their wrong doings often tend to be guarded thus secluding themselves from their society. Mainly, due to the reason of the fear that is instilled into them at an early age leading to their inability to think and express their own will. Furthermore, a severe form of punishment may cause psychological harm to such individual leading to detrimental effects in their health and lifestyle. For instance, majority of criminals have a history of severe child abuse. One solution to allow children to develop good habits is by positively influencing them by their teachers and parents. These people act as mentors of young ones and play a key role in shaping children. Instead of using sheer strength when the children make a mistake, one should explain the reason for their mistake. Furthermore, they can be an excellent example of good behaviour by showing it in themselves. It is not compulsory for punishments to be physical in nature and cruel. For instances, parents and teachers can impose restrictions on children for their incorrect behaviour and this will help them be more discipline and learn the value of things in life. Suffice to say, although it is vital for children to have the ability to make better decisions and have good habits, this can enforce by other ways instead of physical punishment.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
are required
for crucial decisions in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. It
is believed
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
to the younger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
better choices from a younger age. According to my opinion this is completely unnecessary and there is a way parents and tutors can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to develop
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
habits.

Although,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Punishment
may seem a valid to
Possible spelling mistake. 'instil' is British English.
instil
certain values in a child,
It seems that the possessive pronoun "its" fits better in this context. Please verify.
it
method is inaccurate and inhuman.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
who face consequences for their
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
doings
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
tend to
be guarded
thus
secluding themselves from their society.
Mainly
, due to the reason of the fear that
is instilled
into them at an early age leading to their inability to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
and express their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
will.
Furthermore
, a severe form of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
may cause psychological harm to such individual leading to detrimental effects in their health and lifestyle.
For instance
,
It seems that an article is missing.
majority of
criminals have a history of severe child abuse.

One solution to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to develop
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
habits is by
positively
influencing them by their teachers and parents. These
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
act as mentors of young ones and play a key role in shaping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
Instead
of using sheer strength when the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a mistake, one should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
the reason for their mistake.
Furthermore
, they can be an excellent example of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
by showing it in themselves. It is not compulsory for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishments
to be physical in nature and cruel. For instances, parents and teachers can impose restrictions on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
for their incorrect
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
and this will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them be more discipline and learn the value of things in life.

Suffice to say, although it is vital for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to have the ability to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
better decisions and have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
habits, this can enforce by other ways
instead
of physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction. with this opinion? What sort punishments should parents and teachers be allowed to use to teach good behaviour for children? v. 43

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
299 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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