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It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? What sort od punishment should parent and teachers be allowed to use to teach good behavior to children? v.42

It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction. with this opinion? What sort od punishment should parent and teachers be allowed to use to teach good behavior to children? v. 42
I partially agree with the given statement. Punishment is not the only approach to make necessary for children to encounter and discriminate between right and wrong at their juvenile stage. This essay will suggest some measures to alleviate such situation in following ways. First of all, it is said that the development of the plant depends on how we nurture the seed. Thus it occurs in the case of children where the growth is dependent of surrounding. However, if the area where crime is considered as a piece of cake in that case the growing kid will never be afraid of doing wrong things. For example the kid in terrorist area will end up committing various crimes because of the environment which ultimately leads to bad consequences. In that case punishment is the only thing to be carried out. However, punishment is not the only way to entertain the novice between right and wrong. There is a discrete approach by which lessons can be conveyed. Particularly, in school where children develop their mind. In that scenario drama about how to defeat violation and prohibiting crimes will have great impact. These types of activities will allow children’s to understand the difference deeply. The other way of teaching would be explaining the consequences made by the juvenile at an early age. Undoubtedly they will understand and stop them committing any wrongdoing. On the other hand, this lesson will allow them to conduct some morals and good behaviour with everyone in society. To summarize, there is no doubt that children should be punished if he or she has done wrong. But explaining the difference between right and wrong with their perception will surely allow them to understand and learn this distinction.
I
partially
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
statement. Punishment is not the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
approach to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
necessary for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to encounter and discriminate between right and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wrong
at their juvenile stage. This essay will suggest
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
measures to alleviate such situation in following ways.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, it
is said
that the development of the plant depends on how we nurture the seed.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Thus
it occurs in the case of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
where the growth is dependent of surrounding.
However
, if the area where crime
is considered
as a piece of cake
in that case
the growing kid will never be afraid of doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wrong
things.
For example
the kid in terrorist area will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up committing various crimes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the environment which
ultimately
leads to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
consequences.
In that case
punishment is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
thing to
be carried
out.

However
, punishment is not the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
way to entertain the novice between right and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wrong
. There is a discrete approach by which lessons can
be conveyed
.
Particularly
, in school where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
develop their mind. In that scenario drama about how to defeat violation and prohibiting crimes will have great impact. These types of activities will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
to understand the difference
deeply
.

The other way of teaching would be explaining the consequences made by the juvenile at an early age.
Undoubtedly
they will understand and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
them committing any wrongdoing.
On the other hand
, this lesson will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
them to conduct
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
morals and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
with everyone in society.

To summarize
, there is no doubt that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should
be punished
if he or she has done
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wrong
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
explaining the difference between right and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wrong
with their perception will
surely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
them to understand and learn this distinction.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
Language is not a genetic gift, it is a social gift. Learning a new language is becoming a member of the club – the community of speakers of that language.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction. with this opinion? What sort od punishment should parent and teachers be allowed to use to teach good behavior to children? v. 42

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
288 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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