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It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction. To what sort of punishment should parents and teachers be allowed to use to teach good behaviour to children? v.10

It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction. To what sort of punishment should parents and teachers be allowed to use to teach good behaviour to children? v. 10
It is thought that children can learn to distinguish between bad things and good things when they are little boys and girls by punishing them when they did wrong. In my opinion, I completely disagree with it and will explain it in this essay. Children need to understand what things they can do and what things they cannot do when they are at an early age. Although punishing them may make them realize that they have conducted wrong things and force them to remember not to do the same wrong thing again. Adults always used to criticize kids with blame words even corporal punishment in order to give them a lesson and force them to memorize it forever. Such punishments are too powerful for little children because their minds and bodies are under development. In other words, children who suffer the penalty will have a painful memory, which may affect their career and life negatively and unhealthy. Seriously, children who fear to be punished will find a way to avoid punishment rather than learning from the mistakes. That is, the penalty cannot be used to teach young children how to tell the difference between correct and incorrect when children have only received blame or physical punishment. In that situation, they just want to avoid being punished again so that they gradually become liars and do not want any responsibilities when growing up. Thus, it is not a good way for children to learn rules from rebuke, hit and fire when they are very young. In conclusion, I think punishment can cause harm to young children mentally and physically and push them to tell lie so that I do not agree with the opinion that it is necessary for children to understand right and wrong by punishment.
It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can learn to distinguish between
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
things and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
things when they are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
boys and girls by punishing them when they did
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wrong
. In my opinion, I completely disagree with it and will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
it in this essay.

Children need to understand what things they can do and what things they cannot do when they are at an early age. Although punishing them may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them realize that they have conducted
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wrong
things and force them to remember not to do the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wrong
thing again. Adults always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to criticize kids with blame words even corporal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
in order to give them a lesson and force them to memorize it forever. Such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishments
are too powerful for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
their minds and bodies are under development.
In other words
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
who suffer the penalty will have a painful memory, which may affect their career and life
negatively
and unhealthy.

Seriously
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
who fear to
be punished
will find a way to avoid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
rather
than learning from the mistakes.
That is
, the penalty cannot be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to teach young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
the difference between correct and incorrect when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
received blame or physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
. In that situation, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
want to avoid
being punished
again
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they
gradually
become liars and do not want any responsibilities when growing up.
Thus
, it is not a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
way for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to learn
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
Did you mean "to"?
from
rebuke, hit and fire when they are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
young.

In conclusion
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
can cause harm to young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
mentally and
physically
and push them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
lie
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that I do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the opinion that it is necessary for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to understand right and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wrong
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
19Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction. To what sort of punishment should parents and teachers be allowed to use to teach good behaviour to children? v. 10

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
296 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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