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It is generally believed that people are born with certain talents, for instance for sports or music, and others are not. However, it is sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sports person or musician. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.1

It is generally believed that people are born with certain talents, for instance for sports or music, and others are not. However, it is sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sports person or musician. v. 1
How can be talented? Some argue that this is those who are born with talent; however, opponents of this opinion point out that those who are trained to become skillfull. In my opinion, I strongly believe that even though one is skillfull, without a proper training he cannot be successful. On the hand, one who considers children born with skill would be successful. This is because as they have innate abilities: singing, painting and acting, it is very easy to understand the nuances of these skills in details. By contrast, if any children who did not have talents, this training would be hard to give positive results. Take music classes in schools as an example, where several aspirant studies there, but most of them fail to become successful because of inborn talents. Thus, it is believed that only skilled students acquire a great achievement after getting a proper training. On the other hand, despite the above beliefs, opponents of this consider that no-one does successful unless they get enough experience and training. A recent research has shown that most of the great achievers in the world are not born talented; their hard work made them succeed in various fields. By contrast, if a famous skilled person does not undergo any training to improve his skill, he would lose his fame later on as he may not be competent enough to outperform newcomers. By way of conclusion, while many say that innate ability is far more important than training to be successful, others strongly back that the opposite is the true. It is predicted whoever talented be trained by professionals to chase their dreams.
How can
be talented
?
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
argue that this is those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are born
with talent;
however
, opponents of this opinion point out that those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are trained
to become
Possible spelling mistake found.
skillfull
. In my opinion, I
strongly
believe that
even though
one is
Possible spelling mistake found.
skillfull
, without a proper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
he cannot be successful.

On the hand, one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
considers children born with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
would be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successful
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
as they have innate abilities: singing, painting and acting, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
easy to understand the nuances of these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
. By contrast, if any children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
did not have talents, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
would be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to give
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
results. Take music classes in schools as an example, where several aspirant studies there,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
most of them fail to become
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successful
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of inborn talents.
Thus
, it
is believed
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
skilled students acquire a great achievement after getting a proper training.

On the other hand
, despite the above beliefs, opponents of this consider that no-one does
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successful
unless they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
experience and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
. A recent research has shown that most of the great achievers in the world are not born talented; their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
work made them succeed in various fields. By contrast, if
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
a


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
famous
skilled person does not undergo any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
his
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
, he would lose his fame later on as he may not be competent
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to outperform newcomers.

By way of conclusion, while
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
say that innate ability is far more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
to be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successful
, others
strongly
back that the opposite is the true. It
is predicted
whoever talented
be trained
by professionals to chase their dreams.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
13Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes
If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his own language, that goes to his heart.
Nelson Mandela

IELTS essay It is generally believed that people are born with certain talents, for instance for sports or music, and others are not. However, it is sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sports person or musician. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
273 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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