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It is generally accepted that families are not as close as they used to be. Give some reasons why this change has happened and suggest how families could be brought closer together.

Nowadays, people’s lifestyle has changed in comparison to the past and family members are not as close as they used to be for several reasons such as the economic issues and the growth of technology. Despite the fact that some would argue that this problem will correct itself overtime, in my view, there is much that can be done to address this problem constructively. The first reason that families are far from each other these days can be the staggering costs of life which enforce almost all family members to work hard even overtime to provide money and amenities for the family. The rising inflation rate affects all parts of people’s lives and living expenses such as accommodation, either purchasing or renting, eating products, clothes, and other necessities. People, therefore, have to overwork and they cannot find free time spending with their family members in relief. Besides, by the growth of technology, most people tend to spend their time talking to their friends on social media or surfing the internet. So, this keeps people amused and away from their families. One possible approach would be the government efforts and negotiations in order to hinder the day by day increase in prices; especially the price of dollar which has the significant and direct impact on people’s lives. This would certainly tackle the problem. However, measures like this would be considered as excessive and difficult to be done quickly. A more feasible approach would be time-management in using technology by family members. For instance, family members are to spend their time together after work rather than spending their time on social media or playing games on their gadgets. In conclusion, it is true that this problem will probably not be solved quickly. However, that is not the reason to avoid taking actions. If the government and people take appropriate actions in this case, this problem will definitely be solved overtime and families could be brought closer together again, I suppose.
Nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
lifestyle has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
in comparison
to the past and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
are not as close as they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to be for several reasons such as the economic issues and the growth of technology. Despite the fact that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
would argue that this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
will correct itself overtime, in my view, there is much that can
be done
to address this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
constructively
.

The
first
reason that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
are far from each other these days can be the staggering costs of life which enforce almost all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
to work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
even overtime to provide money and amenities for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
. The rising inflation rate affects all parts of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
and living expenses such as accommodation, either purchasing or renting, eating products, clothes, and other necessities.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
,
therefore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
overwork and they cannot find free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
spending with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
in relief.
Besides
, by the growth of technology, most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
tend to spend their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
talking to their friends on social media or surfing the internet.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keeps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
amused and away from their families.

One possible approach would be the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
efforts and negotiations in order to hinder the day by day increase in prices;
especially
the price of dollar which has the significant and direct impact on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. This would
certainly
tackle the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
.
However
, measures like this would
be considered
as excessive and difficult to
be done
quickly
. A more feasible approach would be time-management in using technology by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
.
For instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
are to spend their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
together after work
rather
than spending their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on social media or playing games on their gadgets.

In conclusion
, it is true that this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
will
probably
not
be solved
quickly
.
However
,
that is
not the reason to avoid taking actions. If the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
take appropriate actions
in this case
, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
will definitely
be solved
overtime and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
could
be brought
closer together again, I suppose.

IELTS essay It is generally accepted that families are not as close as they used to be. Give some reasons why this change has happened and suggest how families could be brought closer together.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
328 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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