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Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things that we really do not need. Others say that advertisements tell us about new products that may improve our lives. Which view point do you agree with?

People' opinions are divided about the effects of advertising on theme, whether it pushes them spending their money on needless products, or it help them find product that makes living better. I totally agree that advertisement inform us about a product to get an idea before purchasing. Many people believe that advertisements pushes people to purchase needless products. The ultimate aim of advertisements is to subtly persuade people to buy things by creating an artificial wants. An advert of Appel IPhone, as a case in point, will conceive the consumer about buying the last version just for un extra features integrated within, like a higher image quality, even though he have the previous version of the IPhone he will queue in front of Apple company to buy one. Therefore, advertisements in most cases promote product that does not meet consumers' needs in the first place. However, advertising is irresponsible anyway for that, consumers supposed to be mature when buying things. Other people, in the other hand, think that advertising promotes useful product that can enhance life quality. Companies aim to provide comfort to its consumers by its products. Indeed, it always think to integrate features, such us efficiency, time reduction, easiness in use, in their products. For instance, housewares production has been developing for decades to design tools making cooking faster and easier compared to the ancient kitchen tools with which woman used to spend hours in dish preparation. Thus, with advertisement people can know about products that can help theme better in doing their daily tasks. In conclusion, advertising effects on people differently, but its help them to know about product that make our daily life easier.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
' opinions
are divided
about the effects of advertising on theme, whether it pushes them spending their money on needless
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
, or it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them find
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
living better. I
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
inform us about a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
an
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
purchasing.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
pushes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
needless
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
. The ultimate aim of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
is to
subtly
persuade
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
things by creating an artificial wants. An advert of Appel IPhone, as a case in point, will conceive the consumer about buying the last version
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
for un extra features integrated within, like a higher image quality,
even though
he have the previous version of the IPhone he will queue in front of Apple
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
one.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
in most cases
promote
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
that does not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
consumers' needs in the
first
place.
However
, advertising is irresponsible anyway for that, consumers supposed to be mature when buying things.

Other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, in the other hand,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that advertising promotes useful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
that can enhance life quality.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Companies
aim to provide comfort to its consumers by its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
.
Indeed
, it always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
to integrate features, such us efficiency, time reduction, easiness in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
, in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
.
For instance
, housewares production has been developing for decades to design tools making cooking faster and easier compared to the ancient kitchen tools with which woman
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to spend hours in dish preparation.
Thus
, with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can know about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
that can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
theme better in doing their daily tasks.

In conclusion
, advertising effects on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
differently
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to know about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
our daily life easier.

IELTS essay Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things that we really do not need. Others say that advertisements tell us about new products that may improve our lives. Which view point do you agree with?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
278 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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