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it is general assumption that education is vital for individual development and well being of the societies? What should education consist of , in order to achieve/ complete these functions? Give your opinion .

it is general assumption that education is vital for individual development and well being of the societies? What should education consist of, in order to achieve/ complete these functions? Give your opinion. 73Mj2
Education is an essential part of our life. it develops our mind and makes us active regarding current things. I agree with this given statement and shall designate my view in the upcoming paragraph. In my opinion, education is must for a human being as it individually grooms personality as well as enhances behaviour. To cite an example - when u are sitting in a group of people and one may start a general topic, u can answer it comfortably without any haste. In addition, it provides awareness to us about typical subjects example - history, geography, politics, and variety of other issues. By grasping such matters, we can create unimaginable things like a person who made first rocket or jet. It is all possible because of gaining knowledge and having a grip on it. Furthermore, to emphasis on this, a person is able to fulfil their needs and can help in betterment of a society. Example - if a person open a sweets shop near a local society or stuff like grocery then they can calculate those items and can sell that in a proper way. On the contrary, a person may topple in this task if they did not get proper education. To achieve better, it should consist of general knowledge. Moreover, that is something a parent or any other person be willing for their child to study in schools or colleges. It will help them to know about current affairs, solve tricky problems and more. In conclusion, everyone should provide education to their children as it is indeed important for them to gain.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Education
is an essential part of our life.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
it
develops our mind and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
us active regarding
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
things. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
statement and shall designate my view in the upcoming paragraph.

In my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
for a human being as it
individually
grooms personality
as well
as enhances
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
. To cite an example
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
when u are sitting in a group of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
and one may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
a general topic, u can answer it
comfortably
without any haste.
In addition
, it provides awareness to us about typical subjects example
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
history, geography, politics, and variety of other issues. By grasping such matters, we can create unimaginable things like a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
who made
first
rocket or jet. It is all possible
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of gaining knowledge and having a grip on it.

Furthermore
,
Did you mean "to emphasize" (American English) or "to emphasise" (British English)?
to emphasis
on this, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
is able to fulfil their needs and can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in betterment of a society. Example
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
if a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
open a sweets shop near a local society or stuff like grocery then they can calculate those items and can sell that
Consider replacing "in a proper way" with the adverb for "proper"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in a proper way
.
On the contrary
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
may topple in this task if they did not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
proper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
. To achieve better, it should consist of general knowledge.
Moreover
,
that is
something a parent or any other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
be willing for their child to study in schools or colleges. It will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to know about
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
affairs, solve tricky problems and more.

In conclusion
, everyone should provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
to their children as it is
indeed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for them to gain.
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IELTS essay it is general assumption that education is vital for individual development and well being of the societies? What should education consist of, in order to achieve/ complete these functions? Give your opinion.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
266 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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