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It is better for college students to live on campus then at home with their parents

It is better for college students to live on campus then at home with their parents 2RoVb
When students graduated from high school, part of them will have an opportunity to study at university which located in different areas, they have to choose the place to live. So, it is a common belief that it is better for university’s students to live on campus than at home with their parents. As far as I concerned, I am in agreement with this point of view. The first reason for this is because college students may have a long-distance study so it is necessary for them to pay a living on the campus rather than at home because they don’t need to drive their motobike or using public transport to go to school. For example, if they live at university, they just arrive to school on foot, it is a sensible way to save time because they might have a lot of things to do. Moreover, there are many students from various place come to the university so the distance is the main problem. Also, the second reason for this is due to the fact that college students’s parents always feel insecure because they don’t know any information about their children. However, college students are now at the right age to take control of things that they are doing. Living at the campus brings them numerous benefit since it improves some skill such as soft skill, social skill and enables them to approach the independent lifestyle, which is extremely important for their life. In conclusion, there are various benefits for college students to live on campus so they should take advantage of it to enjoy new situation during the time learning at the university.
When
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
graduated from high school, part of them will have an opportunity to study at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
which located in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
areas, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
choose the place to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, it is a common belief that it is better for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
campus
than at home with their parents. As far as I concerned, I am in agreement with this point of view.

The
first
reason for this is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
college
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
may have a long-distance study
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it is necessary for them to pay a living on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
campus
rather
than at home
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they don’t need to drive their
Possible spelling mistake found.
motobike
or using public transport to go to school.
For example
, if they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
arrive to school on foot, it is a sensible way to save time
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they might have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
things to do.
Moreover
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
from various place
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
the distance is the main problem.

Also
, the second reason for
this is due to the fact that
college
Did you mean "student’s" or "students’"?
students’s
parents always feel insecure
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they don’t know any information about their children.
However
, college
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
at the right age to take control of things that they are doing. Living at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
campus
brings them numerous benefit since it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improves
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
such as soft
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
, social
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
and enables them to approach the independent lifestyle, which is
extremely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for their life.

In conclusion
, there are various benefits for college
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
campus
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they should take advantage of it to enjoy new situation during the time learning at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
.
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IELTS essay It is better for college students to live on campus then at home with their parents

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
275 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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