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Report: Fewer and fewer young people are interested in working as a teacher. What do you think are the reasons? What can be done to solve this problem?

Report: Fewer and fewer young people are interested in working as a teacher. What do you think are the reasons? What can be done to solve this problem? e5ANA
Being a teacher is no longer the fist choice for many young adults in recent years. I believe that the price increasing and internet advances spreading state-wide are the main reasons for this. The government should take steps to change this situation. The first reason why less people being a teacher is that the poor salary. As a growing price in many aspects in their daily life, the low income of a teacher may prevent them to join social activities, like dating with others or joining some parties. And some of them need to reduce such expenses to pay off debts and buying a house to form a family. It will affect the mental health of them and reduce the quality of their lives. That’s why many young adults chose a well-paid job to lead a happy life rather than a steady one. The second reason is the advanced internet that brings more opportunities and challenging than before. Young adults can attend meeting immediately with their colleagues abroad to discuss a project or even handle their work in the public transportations using their smart devices by net. That means more flexible work hours and forms to the young adults instead of teaching lesson in the class and repeat the same content over and over. I guess the multiple forms of work and flexibility may cause the young adults to escape to be an unchanging teacher. I think, that measures should be taken to solve those problems by government. Firstly, give this job more benefits and improve welfare services. Like, prolong the time of summer vacations to teachers and maternity leave of young couples. In other words, it will give them more time to enjoy their life and experience more in the world. Secondly, tax reduction and rising salaries in teaching may narrow the gap of salary in teaching and other jobs so that it can attract more young people to be a teacher instead to suffering some dangerous job to raise family. In conclusion, young people are less to be a teacher due to the inflation of prices and internet advances, which drive some young adults away. If the providing in pay and giving more obvious benefits to the young people will settle the problem.
Being a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
is no longer the fist choice for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
in recent years. I believe that the price increasing and internet advances spreading state-wide are the main reasons for this. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should take steps to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
this situation.

The
first
reason why
Did you mean "fewer"? The noun people is countable.
less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
being a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
is that the poor salary. As a growing price in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
aspects in their daily life, the low income of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
social activities, like dating with others or joining
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
parties. And
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of them need to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
such expenses to pay off debts and buying a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
to form a family. It will affect the mental health of them and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the quality of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. That’s why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
chose a well-paid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
to lead a happy life
rather
than a steady one.

The second reason is the advanced internet that brings more opportunities and challenging than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
can attend meeting immediately with their colleagues abroad to discuss a project or even handle their work in the public transportations using their smart devices by net. That means more flexible work hours and forms to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
instead
of teaching lesson in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
and repeat the same content over and over. I guess the multiple forms of work and flexibility may cause the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
to escape to be an unchanging teacher.

I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
, that measures should
be taken
to solve those problems by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
.
Firstly
,

give this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
more benefits and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
welfare services. Like, prolong the time of summer vacations to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
and maternity
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
couples.
In other words
, it will give them more time to enjoy their life and experience more in the world.
Secondly
, tax reduction and rising salaries in teaching may narrow the gap of salary in teaching and other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that it can attract more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to be a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
instead
to suffering
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
to raise family.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are less to be a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
due to the inflation of prices and internet advances, which drive
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
away. If the providing in pay and giving more obvious benefits to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will settle the problem.
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IELTS essay Report: Fewer and fewer young people are interested in working as a teacher. What do you think are the reasons? What can be done to solve this problem?

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
375 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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