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It is crucially significant for a number of individuals in several countries to have their own accommodation instead of hire charging a place

It is crucially significant for a number of individuals in several countries to have their own accommodation instead of hire charging a place 0AN3O
It is crucially significant for a number of individuals in several countries to have their own accommodation instead of hire charging a place. In my opinion, by owning a house, many individuals can be independent and do not concern about paying fees which can only be seen as beneficial for folk’s future. To begin with, having your own living place is a big help in people’s life. That is to say, if folks have an independent house for living, the result will have a positive effect on their mental health. For example, living in your own accommodation provides safety and relaxed atmosphere for all the members of the family. So, many individuals prefer to buy their own house to have peace of mind. In addition, having a home will deprive folks of thinking about financial issues. To put it differently, the high cost of renting and paying fees, theoretically requiring a renter to earn maximum wage. Working more than two full-time jobs, for instance, is one of the main issues for tenants to afford a one-bedroom rental; As a result, when lessees cannot manage the costs of renting, they struggle to find proper places to live in; so, this will not only have a severe impact on the landlords, but also the housing market. To sum up, having a rented place is innately desirable, however, in the end, causes more harm than good due to the pressure it places on individuals. Ultimately, renting could not save finance, while homeownership can save money in the longer perspective.
It is
crucially
significant for a number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
in several countries to have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
accommodation
instead
of hire charging a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
. In my opinion, by owning a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
can be independent and do not concern about paying fees which can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
as beneficial for folk’s future.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, having your
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
living
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
’s life.
That is
to say, if folks have an independent
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
for living, the result will have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effect on their mental health.
For example
, living in your
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
accommodation provides safety and relaxed atmosphere for all the members of the family.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
prefer to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
to have peace of mind.

In addition
, having a home will deprive folks of thinking about financial issues. To put it
differently
, the high cost of renting and paying fees,
theoretically
requiring a renter to earn maximum wage. Working more than two full-time jobs,
for instance
, is one of the main issues for tenants to afford a one-bedroom rental;
As a result
, when lessees cannot manage the costs of renting, they struggle to find proper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in;
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, this will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
have a severe impact on the landlords,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
the housing market.

To sum up, having a rented
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
is
innately
desirable,
however
, in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
, causes more harm than
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
due to the pressure it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
.
Ultimately
, renting could not save finance, while homeownership can save money in the longer perspective.
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IELTS essay It is crucially significant for a number of individuals in several countries to have their own accommodation instead of hire charging a place

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
256 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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