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It is considered by some that women and men have the same rule in terms of job in the whole society, while some of them argue that it is not sure for them as there are different kinds of criteria to permeate work force.

It is considered by some that women and men have the same rule in terms of job in the whole society, while some of them argue that it is not sure for them as there are different kinds of criteria to permeate work force. It seems that both men and women are not the same capability of work, I will explain why in this essay. Firstly, although female and male people are involved in human beings. They are not accountable for same rule. We know that girl and boy children who are different each other such as boys play football or rugby whilst girls play with their dolls. Since we were born, we have been diverse one another especially girlgs are extremely delicate than boys. A second negative factor is their power at work. Providing that women work mining i inside instead of men, there are many issues coming to society. In other words, underground in mining is truly cold that caused their common women diseases so men are more affordable to work instead. It is true that for women there are possible methods to work in any fields because democracy is the best option for everyone. Despite this, it seems that many people have the same idea to allot work duties. To conclude, eventhough between men and women are different as a face or body shape, they have the same rule in society. Women never do all men’s work duty because their power is less than men in the world.
It
is considered
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
have the same
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rule
in terms of job in the whole society, while
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of them argue that it is not sure for them as there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
kinds of criteria to permeate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
force. It seems that both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
are not the same capability of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
, I will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
why in this essay.

Firstly
, although female and male
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are involved
in human beings. They are not accountable for same
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rule
. We know that girl and boy children who are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
each other such as boys play football or rugby whilst girls play with their dolls. Since we
were born
, we have been diverse one another
especially
Possible spelling mistake found.
girlgs
are
extremely
delicate than boys. A second
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
factor is their power at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
. Providing that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
mining i inside
instead
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
issues coming to society.
In other words
, underground in mining is
truly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cold
that caused their common
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
Use a comma before ‘so’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
diseases
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
are more affordable to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
instead
.

It is true that for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
there are possible methods to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in any fields
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
democracy is the best option for everyone. Despite this, it seems that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have the same
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
to allot
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
duties.

To conclude
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
eventhough
between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
as a face or body shape, they have the same
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rule
in society.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Women
never do all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
duty
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
their power is less than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
in the world.
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IELTS essay It is considered by some that women and men have the same rule in terms of job in the whole society, while some of them argue that it is not sure for them as there are different kinds of criteria to permeate work force.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
251 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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