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It is considered by some people that animals should not be abused, whereas there are also others who claim people could exploit animals for their diverse needs.

It is considered by some people that animals should not be abused, whereas there are also others who claim people could exploit animals for their diverse needs. 5r6A
It is considered by some people that animals should not be abused, whereas there are also others who claim people could exploit animals for their diverse needs. I assume that animals are living beings and people are responsible for their protection, at the same time without using animals people would not maintain their life for centuries. On the one hand, animals are vulnerable live beings of our world. Despite their physical strength and abilities, their mental skills are not as much developed as people’s. Everybody should take responsibility for the protection of animals, and preserve their rights due to their insufficient abilities. In modern era people show their reaction against the breaking of animal laws, and both governmental and non-governmental organizations take measurements according to demands of people. From 2009, the countries in European Union, for example, apply strict punishments for the protection of animals. On the other hand, throughout the centuries, people have used animals for different purposes. Due to the the superiority of human beings, animals have been always depended on people. Animals have inevitable influence on our life, they possess the main role in environment and our food chain. Without the assistance of animals, human beings might be disappeared due to irreplaceable role of animals. Thus, humans should continue to take advantage of animals for various purposes. For example, since ancient times, people have used the smelling skill of dogs for the purpose of finding food and so on. Finally, in my opinion, without using animals, our world would be too difficult. However, while abusing animals, their laws should been taken into account. In conclusion, both approaches have their specific right aspects, but due to the assuring well being of people, animals will continue to been exploited. I predict that by the advancements in technology, animals will be less important than now, and people will assure their welfare.
It
is considered
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
should not
be abused
, whereas there are
also
others who claim
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
could exploit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
for their diverse needs. I assume that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
are living beings and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are responsible for their protection, at the same time without using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
would not maintain their life for centuries.

On the one hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
are vulnerable
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
beings of our world. Despite their physical strength and abilities, their mental
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
are not as much developed as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
. Everybody should take responsibility for the protection of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
, and preserve their rights
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to their insufficient abilities. In modern era
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
their reaction against the breaking of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
laws, and both governmental and non-governmental organizations take measurements according to demands of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. From 2009, the countries in European Union,
for example
, apply strict punishments for the protection of animals.

On the other hand
, throughout the centuries,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
purposes.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Due
to
Maybe you need to remove one determiner so that only "the" or "the" is left.
the the
superiority of human beings,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
The adverb 'always' is usually put between 'have' and 'been'.
have been always
depended on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Animals
have inevitable influence on our life, they possess the main role in environment and our food chain. Without the assistance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
, human beings might
be disappeared
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to irreplaceable role of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
.
Thus
, humans should continue to take advantage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
for various purposes.
For example
, since ancient times,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
the smelling
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
of dogs for the purpose of finding food and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on.

Finally
, in my opinion, without using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
, our world would be too difficult.
However
, while abusing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
, their laws should
Did you mean "have been" or "be"?
been
taken into account.

In conclusion
, both approaches have their specific right aspects,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to the assuring
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well being
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
will continue to
been exploited
. I predict that by the advancements in technology,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
will be less
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
than
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will assure their welfare.
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IELTS essay It is considered by some people that animals should not be abused, whereas there are also others who claim people could exploit animals for their diverse needs.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
311 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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