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Smoking is a major cause of serious illness and death throughout the world today. In the interest of the public health, governments should ban cigarettes and other tobacco products. Do you agree or disagree?

Smoking is a major cause of serious illness and death throughout the world today. In the interest of the public health, governments should ban cigarettes and other tobacco products. kBYd
Smoking brings both temporary comfort and long-term disease which are fatal. That is why many people emphasize on banning of cigarettes and some other tobacco items. I completely agree with this proposed statement. Smoking affects severely both active and passive smokers. These products put financial burden on government and people so, it is justified that it should be banned. Smokers become vulnerable to number of diseases like, lung cancer or other respiratory problems. However, treatments for these certain health issues are present but they are expensive, and governments have to subsidise little extra, which puts extra pressure on government's budget and a single packet of cigarette costs two dollars. An addicted person smoke at least two complete packets per day, which disturbs the budget. A survey by WHO revealed that number of cases of lung cancer patients are increasing dramatically, which is a matter of concern, needs to be addressed immediately. Therefore, higher authorities should take prompt actions to ban all those dangerous products floating in the international markets. Moving further, smoking leads to the destruction of public health system. If increasing number of patients are of smoking related diseases, then in this situation government has to devote more funds and medical equipment on the cure. Then other non-smokers who are ill due to any other illness even in less amount they might not receive the required treatment on time. This situation could bring crisis in wellbeing of people. Medical association of Malaysia found that around 15% people were died due to not being able to get treated and the diseases could be cured. Some might say that government should increase the construction of hospitals but ignoring the other factors will not answer the problem entirely. To summarise, government should ban all those smoking and tobacco products, which are injurious to health because they disturb capital of people and authority. Public health fields also cannot escape out of this condition.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Smoking
brings both temporary comfort and long-term
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disease
which are fatal.
That is
why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
emphasize on banning of cigarettes and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
tobacco items. I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this proposed statement.

Smoking affects
severely
both active and passive smokers. These products put financial burden on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, it
is justified
that it should
be banned
. Smokers become vulnerable to number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diseases
like, lung cancer or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
respiratory problems.
However
, treatments for these certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
issues are present
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they are expensive, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
Possible spelling mistake. 'subsidise' is British English.
subsidise
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
extra, which puts extra pressure on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
's budget and a single packet of cigarette costs two dollars. An addicted person smoke at least two complete packets per day, which disturbs the budget. A survey by WHO revealed that number of cases of lung cancer patients are increasing
dramatically
, which is a matter of concern, needs to
be addressed
immediately.
Therefore
, higher authorities should take prompt actions to ban all those
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
products floating in the international markets.

Moving
further
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
leads to the destruction of public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
system. If increasing number of patients are of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
related
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diseases
, then in this situation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
devote more funds and medical equipment on the cure. Then
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
non-smokers who are ill due to any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
illness even in less amount they might not receive the required treatment on time. This situation could bring crisis in
Possible spelling mistake found.
wellbeing
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. Medical association of Malaysia found that around 15%
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
died
due to not being able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
treated and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diseases
could
be cured
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
might say that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should increase the construction of hospitals
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
ignoring the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
factors will not answer the problem
entirely
.

To
Possible spelling mistake. 'summarise' is British English.
summarise
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should ban all those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
and tobacco products, which are injurious to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they disturb capital of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and authority. Public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
fields
also
cannot escape out of this condition.
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IELTS essay Smoking is a major cause of serious illness and death throughout the world today. In the interest of the public health, governments should ban cigarettes and other tobacco products.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
320 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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