Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

it is common thet people change thier locations more freqently than in the past. what are the reasons? is it positive or negative development? v.1

it is common thet people change thier locations more freqently than in the past. what are the reasons? is it positive or negative development? v. 1
There is no doubt that poverty is becoming a global issue. Each nation has poor folk, and every country has been using various ways to overcome this. The essay will discuss some of the problems associated with this and suggest some solutions. First and foremost, a pressing problem is low literacy rate. The reason is many children are unable to study because of financial pressure. In addition, in some of regions, students have been facing problems to access educational institutes due to lack of infrastructure. As a consequence, they are not getting opportunities in terms of both jobs, and entrepreneurship as they will be lacking in skills. For instance, in Jhelum which is the district of India, students are required to cross the lake by boat for an hour in order to reach school. Another, the major cause is rise of unemployment. Individuals need a job or any other source of earning to meet their basic needs for life. If they are not being able to fulfil these needs, it will become issues like hunger, illness and thirst which leads to poverty. According to a recent survey in California on average, 30% of people are jobless and 50% percent of them in the world today live on less than $2. 50 per day. To solve these problems, governments must invest in the education sector that every child being able to get an education. They should build and invest in infrastructure i. e. Roads and bridges and educational centres. Further, they should provide financial assistance to them who cannot afford. Moreover, the government should provide unemployment allowance to them so they can fulfil their needs. Furthermore, opportunities must be provided to earn some money and establish new industries for them to overcome this issue. In conclusion, it has become a significant issue for world due to illiteracy and major increase in employment turnover rate. It is the government’s responsibility to handle these causes, and they should begin by considering some of the solutions proposed above.
There is no doubt that poverty is becoming a global issue. Each nation has poor folk, and every country has been using various ways to overcome this. The essay will discuss
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
associated with this and suggest
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
solutions.

First
and foremost, a pressing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
is low literacy rate. The reason is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
children are unable to study
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of financial pressure.
In addition
, in
After 'some of', you should use 'the' ("some of the regions") or simply say "some regions".
some of regions
, students have been facing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
to access educational institutes due to lack of infrastructure. As a consequence, they are not getting opportunities in terms of both jobs, and entrepreneurship as they will be lacking in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.
For instance
, in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Jhelum
which is the district of India, students
are required
to cross the lake by boat for an hour in order to reach school. Another, the major cause is rise of unemployment. Individuals
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
a job or any other source of earning to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
their basic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
for life. If they are not being able to fulfil these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
, it will become issues like hunger, illness and thirst which leads to poverty. According to a recent survey in California on average, 30% of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are jobless and 50% percent of them in the world
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
on less than $2. 50 per day.

To solve these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
invest in the education sector that every child being able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
an education. They should build and invest in infrastructure
There should be no space here: "i.e.".
i. e.
Roads and bridges and educational
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
.
Further
, they should provide financial assistance to them who cannot afford.
Moreover
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should provide unemployment allowance to them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they can fulfil their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
.
Furthermore
, opportunities
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be provided
to earn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
money and establish new industries for them to overcome this issue.

In conclusion
, it has become a significant issue for world due to illiteracy and major increase in employment turnover rate. It is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
’s responsibility to handle these causes, and they should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
by considering
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
solutions proposed above.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his own language, that goes to his heart.
Nelson Mandela

IELTS essay it is common thet people change thier locations more freqently than in the past. what are the reasons? is it positive or negative development? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
334 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts