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It is claimed that firms should advise their old employees in order to create new chances for young forces. This essay will deliver my point of view about the pros and cons of bringing younger generations into the workforce.

It is claimed that firms should advise their old employees in order to create new chances for young forces. This essay will deliver my point of view about the pros and cons of bringing younger generations into the workforce. W8e3K
It is claimed that firms should advise their old employees in order to create new chances for young forces. This essay will deliver my point of view about the pros and cons of bringing younger generations into the workforce. On the one hand, with the high requirements in work, the young would meet the demand better than the elderly. First of all, they have an ability to absorb information faster in the technological era as now. For example, a lot of companies need to have access to modern technological devices, which young employees would study and apply in the best way. Secondly, their creative ideas are appreciated and support firms a lot to meet the highest targets. They would draw a plan and promote all the companies’ products more effectively and bring the profits to their employers. Lastly, they are believed to have less health problems than the old employees, which increase work outcomes productively. On the other hand, although expected to improve the work quality, they are also inexperienced too. If the old employees did have a long time working in companies, the young would not have enough time at many positions. No matter how creative they are, they may go wrong in some traditional work. Moreover, young people frequently change their jobs to diversify their experience, so that not many of them want to go along with these companies. In conclusion, from my personal viewpoint, I reckon that companies should recruit more young employees and train them every single day to get the best outcomes in work. Furthermore, they can use their old employees as experienced trainers, which creates both benefits for owners and employees.
It
is claimed
that firms should advise their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
in order to create new chances for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
forces. This essay will deliver my point of view about the pros and cons of bringing younger generations into the workforce.

On the one hand, with the high requirements in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
the demand better than the elderly.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, they have an ability to absorb information faster in the technological era as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
need to have access to modern technological devices, which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
would study and apply in the best way.
Secondly
, their creative
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
are appreciated
and support firms a lot to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
the highest targets. They would draw a plan and promote all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies’
products more
effectively
and bring the profits to their employers.
Lastly
, they
are believed
to have less health problems than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
, which increase
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
outcomes
productively
.

On the other hand
, although
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
quality, they are
also
inexperienced too. If the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
did have a long time working in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
would not have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
time at
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
positions. No matter how creative they are, they may go
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
frequently
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
their jobs to diversify their experience,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of them want to go along with these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
.

In conclusion
, from my personal viewpoint, I reckon that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
should recruit more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
and train them every single day to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the best outcomes in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
.
Furthermore
, they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
as experienced trainers, which creates both benefits for owners and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
.
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IELTS essay It is claimed that firms should advise their old employees in order to create new chances for young forces. This essay will deliver my point of view about the pros and cons of bringing younger generations into the workforce.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
277 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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