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It is certalnly true that the position of women in society has undergone a dramatic change in the past twenty years but I do nat feel that this is a direct cause of the indisputable increase in juvenlle related problems during this period.

It is certalnly true that the position of women in society has undergone a dramatic change in the past twenty years but I do nat feel that this is a direct cause of the indisputable increase in juvenlle related problems during this period. 58JN
It is certalnly true that the position of women in society has undergone a dramatic change in the past twenty years but I do nat feel that this is a direct cause of the indisputable increase in juvenlle related problems during this period. tis now accepted that young women should find work on leaving school; indeed, to rely totaltu on their parents' financial support is no longer an option in many families. Likewise, once they get married, the majority of women continue working since the financial pressures of setting up a house and establishing a reasonable standard of living often requires two incomes, Twenty years ago, it was common for women to give up work once they had children and devote their time to caring for their children. This is no longer the general rule and the provision of professionally-run child care facilities and day nurseries have removed much of the responsibility for child rearing that used to fall to mothers. However, these facilities come at a cost and often require two salaries coming into a family to be afforded. I do not believe that the increase in the number of working mothers has resulted in children being brought up less well than previously. Indeed, it could be argued that by giving mothers the opportunity to work and earn extra money children can be better provided for than previously. There is more money for luxuries and holidays and a more secure family life is possible. Of course, there are limits as to the amount of time that ideally should be spent away from home and the ideal scenario would be for one of the parents (often the wvife) to have a part-time job and thus be available for their children before and after school. It is Important to establish the correct balance between family life and working life
It is
certalnly
true that the position of
women
in society has undergone a dramatic
change
in the past twenty years
but
I do
nat
feel that this is a direct cause of the indisputable increase in
juvenlle
related problems during this period.
tis
now
accepted
that young
women
should find work on leaving school;
indeed
, to rely
totaltu
on their parents' financial support is no longer an option in
many
families
.
Likewise
, once they
get
married, the majority of
women
continue working since the financial pressures of setting up a
house
and establishing a reasonable standard of living
often
requires two incomes, Twenty years ago, it was common for
women
to give up work once they had
children
and devote their time to caring for their
children
. This is no longer the general
rule
and the provision of
professionally
-run child care facilities and day nurseries have removed much of the responsibility for child rearing that
used
to fall to mothers.
However
, these facilities
come
at a cost and
often
require two salaries coming into a
family
to
be afforded
. I do not believe that the increase in the number of working mothers has resulted in
children
being brought
up less well than previously.
Indeed
, it could
be argued
that by giving mothers the opportunity to work and earn extra money
children
can be better provided for than previously. There is more money for luxuries and holidays and a more secure
family
life is possible.
Of course
, there are limits as to the amount of time that
ideally
should
be spent
away from home and the ideal scenario would be for one of the parents (
often
the
wvife
) to have a part-time job and
thus
be available for their
children
before
and after school. It is
Important
to establish the correct balance between
family
life and working
life
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IELTS essay It is certalnly true that the position of women in society has undergone a dramatic change in the past twenty years but I do nat feel that this is a direct cause of the indisputable increase in juvenlle related problems during this period.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
307 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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