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it is better to learn from those at your own level like students or people at higher level like teachers v.2

it is better to learn from those at your own level like students or people at higher level like teachers v. 2
From a general standpoint finding a sufficient trend for learning is very important. As a matter of fact, these materials that we have chosen to learn from them will definitely determine the quality and quantity of our knowledge. While some people hold the view that learning from the persons who has the right level of you is better, I am personally inclined to believe that well-graduated people are the best source of learning. In the following, I will aptly pinpoint the most outstanding reasons to advocate my viewpoint. The first reason leading credence to my argument is that choosing higher level people to learn from will eliminate the fear of unintentional mistakes. Needless to say that educated people are more reliable than lower level ones and we can trust them more because they have more knowledge. A personal experience of more may provide sufficient proof for my claim. In fact, when I was student I used to ask my problems pertinent to my course from one of my friends. Actually, because she did not have more information than me, she guided me in the wrong way and it caused a lot of obstacles for me. In contrary, If I had asked help from our professor I would carry out my research in the right way and much easier. Secondly, people who are educated more than us have more experiences and they would share them with us. Hence, we are not required to examine many wrong paths toward our purpose because we already have used their experience and know the possible outcome. Moreover, these ready to use and handy experiences offers you the opportunity to save more time and sometimes more money. Take my sister for example, she wanted to conduct research on how the natural light can affect animals. There for, she started to prepare a research plan in order to list her to do tasks. When my father checked her plan he advised her not to use the laboratory that she had chosen. Fortunately, he had carried out research in that lab and was aware of the inadequate tools there. As you can see a higher level person' s experiences can facilitate our route through our goals. In conclusion, bearing the points and examples in my mind, I am of the opinion that we can learn more material from a person with higher knowledge person like a teacher. This is because not only are they more reliable and it' s more relieving to trust them, but also they have more experiences than what a co level or classmate has and by using them you don' t need to try a plenty of irrelevant and useless solutions that many of them would not indeed work.
From a general standpoint finding a sufficient trend for learning is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
. As a matter of fact, these materials that we have chosen to learn from them will definitely determine the quality and quantity of our knowledge. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
hold the view that learning from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
persons
who
Did you mean "have", "haven"? Alternatively, check whether the singular of 'persons' should be used.
has
the right
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
level
of you is better, I am
personally
inclined to believe that well-graduated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are the best source of learning. In the following, I will
aptly
pinpoint the most outstanding reasons to advocate my viewpoint.

The
first
reason leading credence to my argument is that choosing higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
level
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to learn from will eliminate the fear of unintentional mistakes. Needless to say that educated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are more reliable than lower
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
level
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
ones and
we can trust them more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they have more knowledge. A personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
of more may provide sufficient proof for my claim. In fact, when I was student I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to ask my problems pertinent to my course from one of my friends. Actually,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
she did not have more information than me, she guided me in the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
way and it caused
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
obstacles for me. In contrary, If I had asked
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
from our professor I would carry out my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
in the right way and much easier.

Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
are educated
more than us have more
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
experiences and
they would share them with us.
Hence
, we are not required to examine
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
paths toward our purpose
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
we already have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
and know the possible outcome.
Moreover
, these ready to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
and handy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experiences
offers you the opportunity to save more time and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
more money. Take my sister
for example
, she wanted to conduct
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
on how the natural light can affect animals. There for, she
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to prepare a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
plan in order to list her
It appears that a hyphen is missing.
to do
tasks.
“When” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
When
my father
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
checked
her plan he advised her not to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the laboratory that she had chosen.
Fortunately
, he had carried out
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
in that lab and was aware of the inadequate tools there. As you can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
a higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
level
Possible spelling mistake found.
person&
#039; s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experiences
can facilitate our route through our goals.

In conclusion
, bearing the points and examples in my mind, I am of the opinion that we can learn more material from a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
with higher knowledge
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
like a teacher. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
are they more reliable and
Possible spelling mistake found.
it&
#039; s more relieving to trust them,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
they have more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experiences
than what a co
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
level
or classmate has and by using them you
Possible spelling mistake found.
don&
#039; t need to try a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of irrelevant and useless solutions that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of them would not
indeed
work.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
24Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay it is better to learn from those at your own level like students or people at higher level like teachers v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
455 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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