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It is better to go on a trip by oneself than to take a group tour with a guide

It is better to go on a trip by oneself than to take a group tour with a guide pRbL9
Every individuals love travelling. Either with a group or solo, or with a tourist guide, we love travelling. Although using guides to visit makes our trip easier, I strongly believe travelling without them would be much fun. As travelling is not just visiting places casually, but also being adventerous, it is important to visit by oneself to have extreme fun. I will try to prove my standing in following passages. First, when we are travelling by self we are not bound by any institutional policies of travelling agencies. We entertain more freedom while travelling solo. During the whole trip we are only under control of us, so it helps us to get more fun. I remember a personal situation from my trip. We were visiting base camp of tallest mountain: Mount Everest. We hired a guide and set off our tour in the guide's vehicle. During our trip there were lots of places on the way that fascinated me. I wanted to take photos of these places but because company policies didnot allow to stop tourist bus randomly, I couldnot takes these photos. This cause dissatisfactio in me and I didn't enjoy the trip much. Had we taken our own vehicle and travelled by oneself the situation would have been different. May be I could have enjoyed freedom and my trip might be fun. Second, guides would takes us to some specified locations only. Travelling guides have pre-specified routes for travelling. They would only take us to those place which come under their route. While following those routes, it is high probability we might miss some important ones. However, travelling oneself makes us able to perdetermine our routes. We have freedom to choose where to go and where not to. This prevents missing of places we are desperate to visit. I remember my time in India where we were travelling to Simla through a travelling agency. We had planned to visit several important places but since these places didn't come under travelling routes of the agency, we missed them all. Thus, travelling by one might have avoided these compromisations. Finally, travelling by self saves alot of our money. As guides would take extra charges and we have to pay for their room rents, the trip would turn out ot be more expensive. Also, we have to live in those hotels prebooked by guides. During these conditions, it is higher possibility that guides would be asking for tips. This would make our trip even more expensive. But, if we are alone we can adjust our needs according to our budgets. We would be saving alot of money and tips as well. One time I went to visit Mustang in Nepal. I went through tourist agency and took a guide. My total expenses was about 400$ per person. After a week one of my friend went on his own. I asked him about his expenses and found out that there was significant difference. At that time I realized guides are waste of money. Therefore, travelling on own is fruitful than with a guide. It makes our trip cheaper and donot restrict us from doing whatever we want. Also, we wouldnot miss any important locations as we do not need to stick to stupid agency policy. Moreover, travelling on own makes our trip more exciting and more adventurous. As we have to be responsible of ourself, these fear also grant different type experience. Hence I belive travelling oneself is a way of experiencing newness.
'Each', 'every', 'either' and 'neither' are used with singular. Did you mean "all"?
Every
The noun should be probably in the singular form: "individual"?
individuals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
. Either with a group or solo, or with a tourist
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
guide
, we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
. Although using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
guides
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trip
easier, I
strongly
believe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
without them would be much fun. As
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
is not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
visiting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
casually
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
being
Possible spelling mistake found.
adventerous
, it is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visit
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
oneself
to have extreme fun. I will try to prove my standing in following passages.

First
, when we are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
by self we are not bound by any institutional policies of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
agencies
. We entertain more freedom while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
solo. During the whole
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trip
we are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
under control of us,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
us to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
more fun. I remember a personal situation from my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trip
. We were visiting base camp of
A determiner is probably missing here: "the tallest".
tallest
mountain: Mount Everest. We hired a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
guide
and set off our tour in the guide's vehicle. During our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trip
there were lots of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
on the way that fascinated me. I wanted to take photos of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
policies
Possible spelling mistake found.
didnot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
tourist bus
randomly
, I
Possible spelling mistake found.
couldnot
takes these photos. This cause
Possible spelling mistake found.
dissatisfactio
in me and I didn't enjoy the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trip
much. Had we taken our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
vehicle and travelled by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
oneself
the situation would have been
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
.
Did you mean "maybe" (= perhaps)?
May be
I could have enjoyed freedom and my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trip
might be fun.

Second,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
guides
would
The verb 'would' requires the base form of the verb: "take"
takes
us to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
specified locations
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Travelling
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
guides
have
Possible spelling mistake found.
pre-specified
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
routes
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
. They would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
take us to those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
under their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
route
. While following those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
routes
, it is high probability we might miss
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
ones.
However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
oneself
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
us able to
Possible spelling mistake found.
perdetermine
our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
routes
. We have freedom to choose where to go and where not to. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevents
missing of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
we are desperate to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visit
. I remember my time in India where we were
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
to
Possible spelling mistake found.
Simla
through a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
agency
. We had planned to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visit
several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
since these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
didn't
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
under
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
routes
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
agency
, we missed them all.
Thus
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
by one might have avoided these
Possible spelling mistake found.
compromisations
.

Finally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
by self saves
Possible spelling mistake found.
alot
of our money. As
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
guides
would take extra
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
charges and
we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
pay for their room rents, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trip
would turn out
Possible spelling mistake found.
ot
be more expensive.
Also
, we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in those hotels prebooked by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
guides
. During these conditions, it is higher possibility that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
guides
would be asking for tips. This would
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trip
even more expensive.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, if we are alone we can adjust our needs according to our budgets. We would be saving
Possible spelling mistake found.
alot
of money and tips
as well
. One time I went to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visit
Mustang in Nepal. I went through tourist
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
agency
and took a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
guide
. My total expenses was about
The currency mark is usually put at the beginning of the number: "$400".
400$
per person.
“After” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
After
a week one of my friend went on his
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
. I asked him about his expenses and found out that there was significant difference. At that time I realized
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
guides
are waste of money.

Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
is
Use "fruitfuller" to make a comparison with this adjective.
fruitful
than with a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
guide
. It
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trip
cheaper and
Possible spelling mistake found.
donot
restrict us from doing whatever we want.
Also
, we
Possible spelling mistake found.
wouldnot
miss any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
locations as we do not need to stick to stupid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
agency
policy.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trip
more exciting and more adventurous. As we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
be
The usual collocations for "responsible" is "responsible for". Did you mean "responsible for" or "in charge of"?
responsible of
The term is non-standard and not widely accepted.
ourself
, these fear
also
grant
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
type experience.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Hence
Did you mean "I believe"?
I belive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
oneself
is a way of experiencing newness.
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IELTS essay It is better to go on a trip by oneself than to take a group tour with a guide

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
581 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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