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Reading paper materials is better than watching electronic devices to gain information

Reading paper materials is better than watching electronic devices to gain information BJWMX
Technology is a bit of double edged sword. Used right, it is a wonderful tool, but unfortunately it makes it easier for a lot of mediocre people to get crappy ideas out. As far as I am concerned, reading paper materials like books, magazines or newspaper is better than watching electronic devices to gain information. I have numerous reasons from my point of view, which i intend to delve into this essay. First of all, paper material have always been most trusted source. For instance take example of a book which is going to be published, the book will go through numerous processes which are; first of all, the author of the book always double check it for mistakes, then the book is read by publishers which then give permission for its publication only if it has right information. Every statement has there references, which make it easy for us to know about the source of the topic. Whereas, the information we receive on our electronic devices is mostly altered as, it is easy for mischievous people to make changes on their own. My real life experience is a compelling example of this, i saw this article in newspaper that in a survey it was found that most of the information provided on most used website 'Wikipedia' can be changed easily, and almost information there had been altered. So, this also provide one more reason that why books are more trusted. Secondly, electronic devices emitt rays which can be harmful for our eyes. Where as our books and other printed material reflect only non harmful rays. For instance, when i was in college, i used to do all my work with help of computer which then result in weakening of my eyesight and i end up with a big ugly specs on my nose. If i would have used books instead of electronic device my eyesight would have been fine. Thirdly, I believe that printed material like newspaper is the only trusted news form, as on social media every other account tend to be a news reporter which make things worse. For example, on social media recently a news got viral which was about death of a famous actor, the actor was ill, but some fake reporters put news about there demise on their social account but the truth came in next days newspaper that the actor was having some trouble in breathing. So, you see how things can easily take a different turn on other platforms. In conclusion, I reiterate my opinion by saying that one should always prefer paper material to gain information. This is because paper materials are checked before publishing, and do not have any side effect on our health and because they print the truth.
Technology is a bit of
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
double edged
sword.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Used
right, it is a wonderful tool,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
unfortunately it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
it easier for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
mediocre
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
crappy
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
out. As far as I
am concerned
, reading paper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
materials
like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
, magazines or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspaper
is better than watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electronic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
devices
to gain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
. I have numerous reasons from my point of view, which
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
intend to delve into this essay.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, paper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
material
have always been most trusted source.
For instance
take example of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book
which is going to
be published
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book
will go through numerous processes which are;
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
first of all
, the author of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book
always double
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
it for mistakes, then the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book
is read
by publishers which then give permission for its publication
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
if it has right
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
. Every statement has there references, which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
it easy for us to know about the source of the topic. Whereas, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
we receive on our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electronic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
devices
is
mostly
altered as, it is easy for mischievous
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
. My real life experience is a compelling example of this,
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
this article in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspaper
that in a survey it
was found
that most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
provided on most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
website 'Wikipedia' can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
easily
, and almost
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
there had
been altered
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, this
also
provide one more reason that why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
are more trusted.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electronic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
devices
Possible spelling mistake found.
emitt rays
which can be harmful for our eyes.
Did you mean "Whereas"?
Where as
our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
and other printed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
material
reflect
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
It appears that a hyphen is missing.
non harmful
rays.
For instance
, when
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
was in college,
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to do all my work with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of computer which then result in weakening of my eyesight and
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up with a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
ugly specs on my nose.
“If” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
If
Did you mean "I"?
i
would have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
instead
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electronic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
device
my eyesight would have been fine.
Thirdly
, I believe that printed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
material
like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspaper
is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
trusted
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
form, as on social media every other account tend to be a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
reporter which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
things worse.
For example
, on social media recently a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
viral which was about death of a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
actor, the actor was ill,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
fake reporters put
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
about there demise on their social account
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the truth came in
next
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "days'" or "day's"?
days
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspaper
that the actor was having
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
trouble in breathing.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
how things can
easily
take a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
turn on other platforms.
In conclusion
, I reiterate my opinion by saying that one should always prefer paper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
material
to gain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
paper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
materials
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
checked
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
publishing, and do not have any side effect on our health and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they print the truth.
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IELTS essay Reading paper materials is better than watching electronic devices to gain information

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
460 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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