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It is better to be beautiful than rich.

It is better to be beautiful than rich. q6xba
Having a good looking face is almost everyone’s wish. However, I personally disagree by the statement that being beautiful is better than being wealthy. By having a lot of money, people especially girls, can do some treatments that can make them have the good look and the numerous money they have will give them extra happiness. Almost every single thing in this world needs money to be done. By being rich, people can get higher education which can not be obtained only by having pretty face. People may say that beautiful girls will easier to get job, but in the reality, people who have more competency will be easier to receive job opportunities. Beside the usage of money for educational purpose, being wealthy can gives people great emotional state. Receiving bundles of dollars makes people feel great, they can use the money for some stress relieving activities, such as buying fancy things for themselves, travelling to the other sides of the world, and purchasing tasty foods to fulfill their cravings. Having a great amount of money may let people do some procedures to their face, for example plastic surgery, facial treatment, and the most basic, skincare. These activities will give them a better looking face than they had before, which will make them feel happier and more satisfied with their life. For conclusion, I will say that being rich is actually better than having beautiful face. Having a lot of money also can give people a pretty face and in addition, higher education for better profession. By being wealthy, people will easily obtain many things in this world which is preferable than only being beautiful.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Having
a
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
good looking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
face
is almost everyone’s wish.
However
, I
personally
disagree by the statement that being
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beautiful
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
than being wealthy. By
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
especially
girls, can do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
treatments that can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them have the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
look and the numerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
they have will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
give
them extra happiness.

Almost every single thing in this world needs
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to
be done
. By being rich,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
higher education which can not
be obtained
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
pretty
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
face
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
may say that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beautiful
girls will easier to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
job,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in the reality,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who have more competency will be easier to receive job opportunities.

Beside the usage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
for educational purpose, being wealthy can
The verb 'can' requires the base form of the verb: "give"
gives
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
great emotional state. Receiving bundles of dollars
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
feel great, they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
relieving activities, such as buying fancy things for themselves, travelling to the other sides of the world, and purchasing tasty foods to fulfill their cravings.

Having a great amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
procedures to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
face
,
for example
plastic surgery, facial treatment, and the most basic, skincare. These activities will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
give
them a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
looking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
face
than they had
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
, which will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them feel happier and more satisfied with their life.

For conclusion, I will say that being rich is actually
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beautiful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
face
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Having
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
also
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
give
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
a pretty
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
face
and
in addition
, higher education for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
profession. By being wealthy,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will
easily
obtain
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
things in this world which is
Use "(preferable)" to make a comparison with this adjective.
preferable
than
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
being
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beautiful
.
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IELTS essay It is better to be beautiful than rich.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
275 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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