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It is better for children to read by using online materials or by using printed material Discuss and give your own opinion v.1

It is better for children to read by using online materials or by using printed material Discuss and give your own opinion v. 1
Nowadays people think that news has no connection with theirs lives, so reading and watching the news are a waste of time. Although the first reaction to some people is to concur to such claims. Nonetheless, there are several reasons to refuse this statement. In the following paragraphs, there are a number of perspectives to discuss this issue more in-depth. Firstly, the main reason to support my position is that with the help of mass media we can know something new. For example, some new programs on my favourite channel, called BBC can tell about different countries, their economy and traditions. Sometimes I read newspapers for studying Engish, because news helps me to learn some words for my future career. So, news can be useful for foreign students, which want to learn this language and for others, who interested in economy and politics. Also, another reason for my belief is that watching the news is useful when going on something large scale. For instance, now all over the world, people have ill, which called COVID-19, so others must know about this virus and be careful. With the help of mass media many of us can save ourselves and our relatives. Moreover, for example, when people follow the news they will be more knowledgeable with something than the rest. In conclusion, it is not to say that other points of view are totally without merits. Nevertheless, the reasons I have presented could support the position of reading and watching news programs is not waste of time.
Nowadays
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
has no connection with theirs
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
reading and watching the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
are a waste of time.
“Although” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Although
the
first
reaction to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
is
to concur to such claims. Nonetheless, there are several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
to refuse this statement. In the following paragraphs, there are a number of perspectives to discuss this issue more in-depth.

Firstly
, the main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
to support my position is that with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of mass media we can know something
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
programs on my
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourite' is British English.
favourite
channel, called BBC can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
about
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
countries, their economy and traditions.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Sometimes
I read newspapers for studying
Possible spelling mistake found.
Engish
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
me to learn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
words for my future career.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
can be useful for foreign students, which want to learn this language and for others, who interested in economy and politics.

Also
, another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
for my belief is that watching the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
is useful when going on something large scale.
For instance
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
all over the world,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have ill, which called COVID-19,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
know about this virus and be careful. With the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of mass media
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of us can save ourselves and our relatives.
Moreover
,
for example
, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
follow the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
they will be more knowledgeable with something than the rest.

In conclusion
, it is not to say that other points of view are
totally
without merits.
Nevertheless
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
I have presented could support the position of reading and watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
programs is not waste of time.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay It is better for children to read by using online materials or by using printed material Discuss and give your own opinion v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
255 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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