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it is believed that students studying in secondary school and high school should be taught how to manage money as it is an important life skill.

it is believed that students studying in secondary school and high school should be taught how to manage money as it is an important life skill. QVYYX
Youth are the backbone of the nation. The development of the country depends on the young generation. They should have knowledge about the various factors. They should be able to manage time and money. Some part of the society belives that students studying in secondary and high schools should be taught how to manage money. They add some time in their curriculem as it is an important lifeskill. Firstly, with the money one can lead a life that they are aiming to as money can buy a lot of things at present. Eventhough, all can not be luxerious lifestyle but can lead a decent life. It can happen only when they know how to manage money. Further, students at that age can widely influnced and it effects heavily in their upcoming years of the life. They have sensitive mind and easily grasp the words. If these skills are tought in the that age they can have the bright future. Secondly, students at this age are mostly dropped out of the school. There is a chance of misunderstanding the concept of the money. Only, some of them know the value of the money. Most of the youth think wearing a branded clothes and having expensive items and cars means wealthy in this light of the fact they spend their money on unwanted things and waste money. In the mean time, they spend all their money and become homeless. For instance, One of my friend lives beside our house after finishing his high school he started a bussiness, it earned a good amount of profits. With that money he started leading a expensive lifestyle aftersome months his bussiness not able to produce profits and it became a loss. Later he is not able maintain his car and house and finally became broke. To conclude, when the students know how to manage money and it; s importance they can lead their life effectively and can live a with high status in society with less problems.
Youth
Consider using third-person verb forms for singular and mass nouns: "is".
are
the backbone of the nation. The development of the country depends on the young generation. They should have knowledge about the various factors. They should be able to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
manage
time and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
part of the society
Possible spelling mistake found.
belives
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
studying in secondary and high schools should
be taught
how to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
manage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
. They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
time in their
Possible spelling mistake found.
curriculem
as it is an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
Possible spelling mistake found.
lifeskill
.

Firstly
, with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
one can lead a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
that they are aiming to as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
things at present.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Eventhough
, all can not be
Possible spelling mistake found.
luxerious
lifestyle
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
can lead a decent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. It can happen
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
when they know how to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
manage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
.
Further
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
at that age can
widely
Possible spelling mistake found.
influnced
and it effects
heavily
in their upcoming years of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. They have sensitive mind and
easily
grasp the words.
“If” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
If
these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
are
Possible spelling mistake found.
tought
in the that age they can have the bright future.

Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
at this age are
mostly
dropped out of the school. There is a chance of misunderstanding the concept of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Only
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of them know the value of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
. Most of the youth
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
wearing a branded clothes and having expensive items and cars means wealthy in this light of the fact they spend their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on unwanted things and waste
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
. In the
Did you mean "meantime" (=the period of time between two things)?
mean time
, they spend all their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
and become homeless.
For instance
, One of my friend
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
beside our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
after finishing his high school he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
a
Possible spelling mistake found.
bussiness
, it earned a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
amount of profits. With that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
leading
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
expensive lifestyle
Possible spelling mistake found.
aftersome
months his
Possible spelling mistake found.
bussiness
not able to produce profits and it became a loss. Later he is not
The preposition 'to' is required in front of the verb 'maintain'.
able maintain
his car and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
and
finally
became broke.

To conclude
, when the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
know how to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
manage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
and it; s importance they can lead their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
effectively
and can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
a with high status in society with
Did you mean "fewer"? The noun problems is countable.
less
problems.
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IELTS essay it is believed that students studying in secondary school and high school should be taught how to manage money as it is an important life skill.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
332 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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