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It is believed that people are suffering from loads of health problems because of consuming too much fast food. Some people hold a thought that education should take responsibility for this phenomenon while others contradict with this opinion. Discuss both of them and give your own point of view

It is believed that people are suffering from loads of health problems because of consuming too much fast food. Some people hold a thought that education should take responsibility for this phenomenon while others contradict with this opinion. Discuss both of them and give your own point of view 0AED1
In the modern world, there has been an accelerating trend of people eating unhealthy food, posing a wide range of detrimental threats to their health. While some people corsider education as anineffective measure to resolve the problem. I would contend that this practice would serve as a definitely worlable solution to tackling such a problem. There is a common belief that echration would not be an effective method of deterring people from consurning a large amount of junk food. Supporters of this view might argue that the modern living style is the root of this issue, which would not be efficiently addressed by education. For example, there are many intellectual officers in favour of fast food due to its convenience and portable manner. Despite of their profound nutrition-related knowledge and awareness, these busy consumers opt for fast food for the sake of time saving. Besides, there are other efficiendis turbingjunk food consumption. For instance, the government could impose higher taxation schemes on junk food. By raising fast food prices, such a strict legal action could vield immediate and widespread effects on consumer behavior, thus bringing forth a quicker decline in junk food consumption compared to education. However, I would strongly endorse education as an effective key to the junk food overconsumption problem The primary reason is that an appropriate education would efficiently heighten eaters' awareness which may act as a deterrent to people's opting for unhealthy food. For instance, once people gain insightful knowledge and awareness about life-threatering cancers and diseases caused by overeating fast food, they would be more likely to put an end to such a hamil eating habit. Another supporting reason is that nutrition education programs compared to other measures such as imposing higher taxes, could result in more sustainable awareness and behavior change among people from all walks of life, especially children and adolescents. These beneficiaries will ciliate a lifetime habit of refraining from junk food or restricting such intale. To sum up, although there are reasonable arguments against education, I firmly believe that educational measures would significantly mitigatejurik food consumption and deter the problem from being exacerbated further.
In the modern world, there has been an accelerating trend of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
eating unhealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
, posing a wide range of detrimental threats to their health. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
Possible spelling mistake found.
corsider
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
as
Possible spelling mistake found.
anineffective
measure to resolve the problem. I would contend that this practice would serve as a definitely
Possible spelling mistake found.
worlable
solution to tackling such a problem.

There is a common belief that
Possible spelling mistake found.
echration
would not be an effective method of deterring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from
Possible spelling mistake found.
consurning
a large amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
. Supporters of this view might argue that the modern living style is the root of this issue, which would not be
efficiently
addressed by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
.
For example
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
intellectual officers in
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
due to its convenience and portable manner.
Did you mean "Despite" (or, alternatively, 'in spite of')?
Despite of
their profound nutrition-related knowledge and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
awareness
, these busy consumers opt for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
for the sake of time saving.
Besides
, there are other
Possible spelling mistake found.
efficiendis
Possible spelling mistake found.
turbingjunk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
consumption.
For instance
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
could impose higher taxation schemes on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
. By raising
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
prices, such a strict legal action could
Possible spelling mistake found.
vield
immediate and widespread effects on consumer behavior,
thus
bringing forth a quicker decline in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
consumption compared to education.

However
, I would
strongly
endorse
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
as an effective key to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
overconsumption problem

The primary reason is that an appropriate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
would
efficiently
heighten eaters'
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
awareness
which may act

as a deterrent to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's opting for unhealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
.
For instance
, once
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
gain insightful knowledge and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
awareness
about
Possible spelling mistake found.
life-threatering
cancers and diseases caused by overeating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
, they would be more likely to put an
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
to such a
Possible spelling mistake found.
hamil
eating habit. Another supporting reason is that nutrition
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
programs compared to other measures such as imposing higher taxes, could result in more sustainable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
awareness
and behavior
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from all walks of life,
especially
children and adolescents. These beneficiaries will
Possible spelling mistake found.
ciliate
a lifetime habit of refraining from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
or restricting such
Possible spelling mistake found.
intale
.

To sum up, although there are reasonable arguments against
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
, I
firmly
believe that educational measures would
significantly
Possible spelling mistake found.
mitigatejurik
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
consumption and deter the problem from
being exacerbated
further
.

IELTS essay It is believed that people are suffering from loads of health problems because of consuming too much fast food. Some people hold a thought that education should take responsibility for this phenomenon while others contradict with this opinion. Discuss both of them and give your own point of view

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
353 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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