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It is believed that governments spend unnecessary money on art and that this money can be used more efficiently.

It is believed that governments spend unnecessary money on art and that this money can be used more efficiently. m139r
It is believed that governments spend unnecessary money on art and that this money can be used more efficiently. I totally disagree with this and I think that arts are worth to spend money on them. Art is a very big concept and varies from country to country, so it is very important that each country has its own art style. Money is something that needs to be spent on art because it must always develop, and it must also represent the country in the best way. In some countries there are museums everywhere. For instance, Germany, Turkey, and the UK. In these countries, museums are free and always open. So everyone can access and curiosity increases. Art is also considered a form of entertainment. As an example, festivals, movies and competitions are made by taking examples from art. If it is developed in the art branch of the country, it can be transformed into a deposit. For example, movies are something that requires high investment but ultimately makes good money. According to the researches, it has been proved that in a country where art is developed, it can obtain a high amount of money in these branches. As a result, arts have a great importance in the lives of people in that country. If there is no art, that country has not developed sufficiently. In other words, if a state does not spend the necessary money on art, it lags behind compared to other countries and cannot show its own culture enough.
It
is believed
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
spend unnecessary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
and that this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
more
efficiently
. I
totally
disagree with this and I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
are worth to spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on them.

Art is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
concept and varies from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
that each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
has its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
style.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Money
is something that needs to
be spent
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
always develop, and it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
also
represent the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
in the best way. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
there are museums everywhere.
For instance
, Germany, Turkey, and the UK. In these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, museums are free and always open.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
everyone can access and curiosity increases.

Art is
also
considered a form of entertainment. As an example, festivals, movies and competitions
are made
by taking examples from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
. If it
is developed
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
branch of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
, it can
be transformed
into a deposit.
For example
, movies are something that requires high investment
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
ultimately
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
. According to the researches, it has
been proved
that in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
is developed
, it can obtain a high amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
in these branches.

As a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
have a great importance in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. If there is no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
, that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
has not developed
sufficiently
.
In other words
, if a state does not spend the necessary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
, it lags behind compared to other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
and cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
culture
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
.
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IELTS essay It is believed that governments spend unnecessary money on art and that this money can be used more efficiently.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
253 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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