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It is believed that being grown up by an extended family is greater than the nuclear one for children

It is believed that being grown up by an extended family is greater than the nuclear one for children WgQEe
It is believed that being grown up by an extended family is greater than the nuclear one for children. I personally consider that it has both positive and negative influence on offsprings. On the one hand, there are several benefits of being educated in a binuclear family. Firstly, youngsters can receive more types of care than those who lived only with parents due to the wide range of family members. For instance, while the uncle carefully teaches the child how to solve tricky math to improve logical thinking, grandmother and them can cook together in order to learn patience and practical skill. As a result, they are likely to have more chances to fully develop than the others and become rounded citizens in the future. Secondly, the youth gains more life experience and points of views because of being brought up by different generations. It helps them to avoid preventable failures of adults which save their time to confront them in life because the older may give more valuable advice and the best way to go through a hard time based on their experience. On the other hand, I also recognise some prospects of children who are taken care of only by their mom and dad. Majority, they are more mature and independent and able to self-care in the early stage of life when their parents are busy with hectic schedules. Taking cleaning as an example, my aunt taught her little five-year-old sons to mop the floor and clean the dishes after lunch to help their parents have more time with work and realise the meaning of labour. This contributes to enhancing experimental expertises for the sake of achieving success in their life. In addition, living in a large family causes serious arguments between members of a family due to gap generation. Without correctly addressed, those problems may break the family relationship in the long run and create a toxic environment that adversely affects children. According to BPP magazine, it is claimed that 45% of teenagers who break the law come from unstable homes in Colombia in 2018. This is less likely to happen if they stay with their mother and father. In conclusion, I believe that the young are looked after by all family members or only parents have both pros and cons.
It
is believed
that
being grown
up by an extended
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
is greater than the nuclear one for children. I
personally
consider that it has both
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
influence on
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "offspring", the plural form of the noun 'offspring'?
offsprings
.

On the one hand, there are several benefits of
being educated
in a
Possible spelling mistake found.
binuclear
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
.
Firstly
, youngsters can receive more types of care than those who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
due to the wide range of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
members.
For instance
, while the uncle
carefully
teaches the child how to solve tricky math to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
logical thinking, grandmother and them can cook together in order to learn patience and practical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
.
As a result
, they are likely to have more chances to
fully
develop than the others and become rounded citizens in the future.
Secondly
, the youth gains more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
experience and points of views
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
being brought
up by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
generations. It
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them to avoid preventable failures of adults which save their time to confront them in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the older may give more valuable advice and the best way to go through a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
time based on their experience.

On the other hand
, I
also
Possible spelling mistake. 'recognise' is British English.
recognise
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
prospects of children who
are taken
care of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
by their mom and dad. Majority, they are more mature and independent and able to self-care in the early stage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
when their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are busy with hectic schedules. Taking cleaning as an example, my aunt taught her
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
five-year-
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
sons to mop the floor and clean the dishes after lunch to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
have more time with work and
Possible spelling mistake. 'realise' is British English.
realise
the meaning of
Possible spelling mistake. 'labour' is British English.
labour
. This contributes to enhancing experimental expertises for the sake of achieving success in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
In addition
, living in a large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
causes serious arguments between members of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
due to gap generation. Without
correctly
addressed, those problems may break the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
relationship in the long run and create a toxic environment that
adversely
affects children. According to BPP magazine, it
is claimed
that 45% of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
who break the law
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
from unstable homes in Colombia in 2018. This is less likely to happen if they stay with their mother and father.

In conclusion
, I believe that the young
are looked
after by all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
members or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
have both pros and cons.
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IELTS essay It is believed that being grown up by an extended family is greater than the nuclear one for children

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
384 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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