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Computer games and children: physical and mental threats

Computer games and children: physical and mental threats jD7V8
In the age of industry 4. 0, playing computer games is one of the biggest threats to children's physical and mental health. Firstly, children often spend too much time playing games. They often forget to study, don't sleep to play games, ect. If this situation persists, it will cause the child's health to gradually decline. For example, during the Covid-19 pandemic, there have been many studies showing that children have a tendency to experience depression due to spending too much time on computers and not paying attention to the world around them. Instead of exercising, children spend time playing games, which affects their physical health. Therefore, parents can manage their children's game time. Limiting time will help children reduce their exposure to computers and improve their health. In conclusion, computer games leads to physical and mental problems that children need to learn about the harmful effects of playing video games on their own bodies.
In the age of industry 4. 0,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
is one of the biggest threats to children's physical and mental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
spend too much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
. They
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
forget to study, don't sleep to play
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
ect
. If this situation persists, it will cause the child's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
to
gradually
decline.
For example
, during the Covid-19 pandemic, there have been
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
studies showing that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
have a tendency to experience depression due to spending too much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on computers and not paying attention to the world around them.
Instead
of exercising,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
, which affects their physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
.
Therefore
, parents can manage their children's game
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. Limiting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
their exposure to computers and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
.
In conclusion
, computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
leads to physical and mental problems that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
need to learn about the harmful effects of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
bodies.
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IELTS essay Computer games and children: physical and mental threats

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
154 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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