Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Computer games and children: physical and mental threats

Computer games and children: physical and mental threats jD7V8
In the age of industry 4. 0, playing computer games is one of the biggest threats to children's physical and mental health. Firstly, children often spend too much time playing games. They often forget to study, don't sleep to play games, ect. If this situation persists, it will cause the child's health to gradually decline. For example, during the Covid-19 pandemic, there have been many studies showing that children have a tendency to experience depression due to spending too much time on computers and not paying attention to the world around them. Instead of exercising, children spend time playing games, which affects their physical health. Therefore, parents can manage their children's game time. Limiting time will help children reduce their exposure to computers and improve their health. In conclusion, computer games leads to physical and mental problems that children need to learn about the harmful effects of playing video games on their own bodies.
In the age of industry 4. 0,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
is one of the biggest threats to children's physical and mental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
spend too much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
. They
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
forget to study, don't sleep to play
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
ect
. If this situation persists, it will cause the child's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
to
gradually
decline.
For example
, during the Covid-19 pandemic, there have been
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
studies showing that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
have a tendency to experience depression due to spending too much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on computers and not paying attention to the world around them.
Instead
of exercising,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
, which affects their physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
.
Therefore
, parents can manage their children's game
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. Limiting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
their exposure to computers and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
.
In conclusion
, computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
leads to physical and mental problems that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
need to learn about the harmful effects of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
bodies.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay Computer games and children: physical and mental threats

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
154 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts
  • 5band
    your mother - the one you love most of all
    An important person who has influenced my life in the most positive way is my mother. Nothing in the world can compare with the true love and the care of my mother. She is not only my mother but also my friend and my great teacher. She taught me how to be brave, honest and kind to everyone. She also...
  • 6band
    While having an approach to modern automation has many advantages for children's development, parents should not allow them to have early access to technology for three reasons.
    In recent years, the latest technological advancements have been extremely useful to society. There is no denying that contemporary technology has been widely accessible to the general public and produced comfort for our lives. Besides, these days, it's typical to perceive children, particularly you...
  • 5band
    Advantages of advertisements
    On the one hand, advertisements bring several great benefits. First, it provides consumers with a variety of options for the products that they need to buy. Consumers have different perspectives and preferences for products, including types, prices and the like. Advertising enables the newly-launche...
  • 5band
    School Education System In Vietnam
    Education is seen as a national priority in Vietnam. Although the education system in Vietnam has its shortcomings, the government has made a commitment to improve the education system overall with budget increases and constant development. The primary school completion rate is high in Vietnam in ad...
  • 5.5band
    since the primary measurement element
    since the primary measurement element of colorimetric sensor array technology is chemo indicators, the overall performance of the sensor also depends on the chemical and physical properties of the printing substrate and the ink formulation. so as to create a more repeatable colorimetric sensor array...
  • 5.5band
    Computer games good for children discuss the postivie and nageative effect
    Nowadays mostly children play computer games video games in manyother electronic games there are various positive points and negative points I will discuss the both points of due in upcoming paragraphs to commence with there are some positive points to play the games on on computer sometime when chi...