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Young people today spend too much money and time following fashion trends (clothing, tech). Why is this the case? What can we do to reduce the time they spend on them?

Young people today spend too much money and time following fashion trends (clothing, tech). Why is this the case? What can we do to reduce the time they spend on them? WgQqb
Nowadays, youngsters spend a large amount of money and time following fashion trends such as clothing, technology, . . There are a host of reasons behind this phenomenon and several solutions should be adopted to address this problem. There are several reasons why young people are currently following fashion trends. Firstly, they want to show their level to everyone that they are a rich person. Second, it's a brand you like so you want to spend all your time and money on them. For example, when Uncover has new items, there are a lot of young people lining up to buy and these clothes are sold out in a short time. In order to address the aforementioned issues, several actions can be taken. The first measure would be that parents should not give their children a lot of pocket money to avoid them spending on unnecessary things. Another viable method is the teacher to teach them to use their time wisely, spend a lot of time studying and working to help society. In conclusion, youngsters spending too much money and time for fashion trends can be ascribed to reasons which show their level and your favourite, and this issue can be dealt with by a joint effort of both parents and teacher.
Nowadays, youngsters spend a large amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
following fashion trends such as clothing, technology
Did you just mean "," or "."?
, .
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
There are a
Possible agreement error. Did you mean "hosts"?
host
of reasons behind this phenomenon and several solutions should
be adopted
to address this problem.

There are several reasons why young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are
currently
following fashion trends.
Firstly
, they want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
their level to everyone that they are a rich person. Second, it's a brand you like
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
you want to spend all your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on them.
For example
, when Uncover has new items, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
lining up to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
and these clothes
are sold
out in a short time.

In order to address the aforementioned issues, several actions can
be taken
. The
first
measure would be that parents should not give their children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
pocket
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to avoid them spending on unnecessary things. Another viable method is the teacher to teach them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
wisely
, spend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
studying and working to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
society.

In conclusion
, youngsters spending too much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for fashion trends can
be ascribed
to reasons which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
their level and your
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourite' is British English.
favourite
, and this issue can
be dealt
with by a joint effort of both parents and teacher.
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IELTS essay Young people today spend too much money and time following fashion trends (clothing, tech). Why is this the case? What can we do to reduce the time they spend on them?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
212 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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