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It is argured that when people taking part in team sport like football will gain more benefits. While the other people believe that participate with individual sports like swimming is better.

It is argured that when people taking part in team sport like football will gain more benefits. While the other people believe that participate with individual sports like swimming is better. Vr8y3
While there are so many reasons to say that individual sports have more people doing it. Firstly, when people choose to do the alone sport like swimming will will develop imagination more than people in team sport because when playing this they will have no help from another people. This could explained why they have more imagination because they will have to development thinking and make their own decisition. On the other hand, team sports are not the same because these sport players have to follow the tactic and depend mostly on the partners. While in my opinion, I totally recommand taking part in team sports. It maybe not help us to develop our mind but this sport could make us become more friendly. Secondly, team sports teach us many things from solidarity or become a leader maybe. Let takes an example like football. While Messi or Ronaldo are the greatest captain because their skilful and decisive direction in each ball. So not just individual sports make us development thinking can also too. Overall, It could say that every sport always have the same purpose to make us stronger but in my opinion, team sports will make us gain more benefit than individual sports.
While there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons to say that individual
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sports
have more
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people
doing it.
Firstly
, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
choose to do the alone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
like swimming
Possible typo: you repeated a word
will will
develop imagination more than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
when playing this they will have no
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
from another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. This could
The verb 'could' requires the base form of the verb: "explain"
explained
why they have more imagination
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they will
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
development thinking and
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make
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
Possible spelling mistake found.
decisition
.
On the other hand
,
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team
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sports
are not the same
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
players
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
follow the tactic and depend
mostly
on the partners.

While in my opinion, I
totally
Possible spelling mistake found.
recommand
taking part in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
. It maybe not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
us to develop our mind
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
could
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make
us become more friendly.
Secondly
,
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team
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
teach us
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
things from solidarity or become a leader maybe.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Let
takes an example like football. While Messi or Ronaldo are the greatest captain
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
their
Possible spelling mistake. 'skilful' is British English.
skilful
and decisive direction in each ball.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
individual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
us development thinking can
also
too.

Overall
, It could say that every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
always have the same purpose to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
us stronger
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
us gain more benefit than individual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
.
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IELTS essay It is argured that when people taking part in team sport like football will gain more benefits. While the other people believe that participate with individual sports like swimming is better.

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
204 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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