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Advantages and disadvantages of hosting an international sporting event?

Advantages and disadvantages of hosting an international sporting event? Y2bJV
Some argue that hosting international sports events can be beneficial to countries. Hosting sports events could secure inflows of foreign capital, generate employment, and make people want to spend money. The Fifa World Cup that is going to be held in Doha during the summer of 2022 is expected to boost Qatar and its region’s economy. Billions of dollars are being invested in the infrastructure of the stadium, metro system, airport, and a seaport. This has led to an increase in employment for Qatar and its neighboring countries. Also, the greatest opportunities are expected to occur in the banking and construction sectors. It is creating a boosting confidence for investment because of its new dynamism towards the world cup.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
argue that hosting international sports
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
can be beneficial to countries. Hosting sports
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
could secure inflows of foreign capital, generate employment, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
want to spend money. The
If the term is a proper noun, use initial capitals.
Fifa World Cup
that is
going to
be held
in Doha during the summer of 2022 is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
to boost Qatar and its region’s economy. Billions of dollars are
being invested
in the infrastructure of the stadium, metro system, airport, and a seaport. This has led to an increase in employment for Qatar and its neighboring countries.
Also
, the greatest opportunities are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
to occur in the banking and construction sectors. It is creating a boosting confidence for investment
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of its new dynamism towards the world cup.
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IELTS essay Advantages and disadvantages of hosting an international sporting event?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
119 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
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Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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