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Describe a person that you admire

Describe a person that you admire 6d0KK
One of the person that I would like to talk about it is who that was living in the eighteenth of century who called Thomas Alva Edison, he was one of the greatest inventors with more than 1000 inventions. I personally like him because of his determinations and during his time there was not enough equipments and scientists had limited. One the other hand, before there was not calculator or computer and he found light bulb and still people are using that. However, in my opinion the scientist are the most important factor for each society and we can learn by search a lot of things from them, it has been seen some scientist during their life had very low equipments but they helped the people and never gave up.
One of the person that I would like to talk about it is who that was living in the eighteenth of century who called Thomas Alva Edison, he was one of the greatest inventors with more than 1000 inventions. I
personally
like him
because
of his determinations and during his time there was not
enough
equipments and scientists had limited.
One
the other hand,
before
there was not calculator or
computer and
he found light bulb and
still
people
are using that.
However
, in my opinion the scientist are the most
important
factor for each
society and
we can learn by search
a lot of
things from them, it has been
seen
some
scientist during their life had
very
low equipments
but
they
helped
the
people
and never gave up.
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IELTS essay Describe a person that you admire

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
130 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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