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It is argued that spending time for television trigger off the detrimental influences on the kids. Besides, others claimed that it also brings plenty of educational merits for them. From my perspective, I totally support the viewing that watching television is harmful for young generation.

It is argued that spending time for television trigger off the detrimental influences on the kids. Besides, others claimed that it also brings plenty of educational merits for them. From my perspective, I totally support the viewing that watching television is harmful for young generation. 5B5bp
It is argued that spending time for television trigger off the detrimental influences on the kids. Besides, others claimed that it also brings plenty of educational merits for them. From my perspective, I totally support the viewing that watching television is harmful for young generation. As things stand, we are reaching various recreational activities such as smartphone, television, and other gadgets which lead to the children are belonging to it steadily. They are contended that putting all resources to watch television. For instance, my sibling, he makes an effort to settle frond of monitor as much as possible, just a little boy. We are intensely concerned these interaction, it will be an conceivable obstacle for us on the process raising him up. It would not be extremely serious if we spent more time for him, our parents have loads of task that need to tackle. It would probably result in several severe health’s issue in the foreseeable future. Apparently, the main reason is that most of parents are getting flaws when raising their children. Furthermore, the internet’s contents are published without censoring, some are considered as potential threats for the young who can not recognise their consuming information. it therefore occurs several serious crime by the juveniles. Many influencers have been critized frankly that posting sensitive information by the national television broadcaster of Viet Nam. It is the vital issue that the official authorities have to deal with abruptly. Hence, content creators had better release the appropriate video in order to approach their suitable spectators, encouraging knowledgeable information. Besides, parents play a crucial role in charge of handling the kids’ watching content. In conclusion, the young generation are encountering fiercely harmful issue through watching television, and the drawbacks are even outweight the merits. For the reason is that we have to give a hand together to protect them from these detrimental problems.
It
is argued
that spending time for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
trigger off the detrimental influences on the kids.
Besides
, others claimed that it
also
brings
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of educational merits for them. From my perspective, I
totally
support the viewing that watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
is harmful for young generation.

As things stand, we are reaching various recreational activities such as smartphone,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
, and other gadgets which lead to the children
The verb 'belonging' is a stative verb and sometimes the progressive form is not correct. Try a simple form instead.
are belonging
to it
steadily
. They
are contended
that putting all resources to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
.
For instance
, my sibling, he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
an effort to settle frond of monitor as much as possible,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
boy. We are
intensely
concerned
Did you mean "this interaction" or "these interactions"?
these interaction
, it will be
Use "a" instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
an
conceivable obstacle for us on the process raising him up. It would not be
extremely
serious if we spent more time for him, our parents have loads of task that need to tackle. It would
probably
result in several severe health’s issue in the foreseeable future.
Apparently
, the main reason is that
After 'most of', you should use 'the' ("most of the parents") or simply say "most parents".
most of parents
are getting flaws when raising their children.

Furthermore
, the internet’s contents
are published
without censoring,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
are considered
as potential threats for the young who can not
Possible spelling mistake. 'recognise' is British English.
recognise
their consuming information.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
it
therefore
occurs several serious crime by the juveniles.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
influencers have been
Possible spelling mistake found.
critized
frankly
that posting sensitive information by the national
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
broadcaster of
Possible spelling mistake found.
Viet
Nam. It is the vital issue that the official authorities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
deal with
abruptly
.
Hence
, content creators had better release the appropriate video in order to approach their suitable spectators, encouraging knowledgeable information.
Besides
, parents play a crucial role in charge of handling the kids’ watching content.

In conclusion
, the young generation are encountering
fiercely
harmful issue through watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
, and the drawbacks are even
Possible spelling mistake found.
outweight
the merits. For the reason is that we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
give a hand together to protect them from these detrimental problems.
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IELTS essay It is argued that spending time for television trigger off the detrimental influences on the kids. Besides, others claimed that it also brings plenty of educational merits for them. From my perspective, I totally support the viewing that watching television is harmful for young generation.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
312 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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