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It is argued that perilous sports should be prohibited by policymakers, while others oppose this notion, believing that individuals can freely do any kind of sports. In the following essay, both sides of the argument will be analyzed before a reasoned conclusion is drawn. On the one hand, numerous people advocate a ban on hazardous sports activities as they can inflict undesirable incidents for athletes. Because players are required to do strenuous training in multiple harsh conditions, they are more prone to physical and mental injuries, which can result in their life-threatening states, the termination of their careers, or fatalities. In addition, extreme sports activities can trigger aggressive behavioral patterns for citizens, especially youngsters. For instance, children tend to be evoked by violent manifestations, including kicking, punching, or satisfying themselves when fighting off others via watching boxing matches, catalyzing their abrupt characters. The prohibition of thr

It is argued that perilous sports should be prohibited by policymakers, while others oppose this notion, believing that individuals can freely do any kind of sports. In the following essay, both sides of the argument will be analyzed before a reasoned conclusion is drawn. On the one hand, numerous people advocate a ban on hazardous sports activities as they can inflict undesirable incidents for athletes. Because players are required to do strenuous training in multiple harsh conditions, they are more prone to physical and mental injuries, which can result in their life-threatening states, the termination of their careers, or fatalities. In addition, extreme sports activities can trigger aggressive behavioral patterns for citizens, especially youngsters. For instance, children tend to be evoked by violent manifestations, including kicking, punching, or satisfying themselves when fighting off others via watching boxing matches, catalyzing their abrupt characters. The prohibition of thr KnRX6
people advocate a ban on hazardous sports activities as they can inflict undesirable incidents for athletes. Because players are required to do strenuous training in multiple harsh conditions, they are more prone to physical and mental injuries, which can result in their life-threatening states, the termination of their careers, or fatalities. In addition, extreme sports activities can trigger aggressive behavioral patterns for citizens, especially youngsters. For instance, children tend to be evoked by violent manifestations, including kicking, punching, or satisfying themselves when fighting off others via watching boxing matches, catalyzing their abrupt characters. The prohibition of threatening sports, therefore, should be considered pivotal in order to prevent accidents and ignite negative attributes.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
people
advocate a ban on hazardous sports activities as they can inflict undesirable incidents for athletes.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
players
are required
to do strenuous training in multiple harsh conditions, they are more prone to physical and mental injuries, which can result in their life-threatening states, the termination of their careers, or fatalities.
In addition
, extreme sports activities can trigger aggressive behavioral patterns for citizens,
especially
youngsters.
For instance
, children tend to
be evoked
by violent manifestations, including kicking, punching, or satisfying themselves when fighting off others via watching boxing matches, catalyzing their abrupt characters. The prohibition of threatening sports,
therefore
, should
be considered
pivotal in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
accidents and ignite
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
attributes.
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IELTS essay It is argued that perilous sports should be prohibited by policymakers, while others oppose this notion, believing that individuals can freely do any kind of sports. In the following essay, both sides of the argument will be analyzed before a reasoned conclusion is drawn. On the one hand, numerous people advocate a ban on hazardous sports activities as they can inflict undesirable incidents for athletes. Because players are required to do strenuous training in multiple harsh conditions, they are more prone to physical and mental injuries, which can result in their life-threatening states, the termination of their careers, or fatalities. In addition, extreme sports activities can trigger aggressive behavioral patterns for citizens, especially youngsters. For instance, children tend to be evoked by violent manifestations, including kicking, punching, or satisfying themselves when fighting off others via watching boxing matches, catalyzing their abrupt characters. The prohibition of thr

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
112 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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  • It is argued that perilous sports should be prohibited by policymakers, while others oppose this notion, believing that individuals can freely do any kind of sports. In the following essay, both sides of the argument will be analyzed before a reasoned conclusion is drawn. On the one hand, numerous people advocate a ban on hazardous sports activities as they can inflict undesirable incidents for athletes. Because players are required to do strenuous training in multiple harsh conditions, they are more prone to physical and mental injuries, which can result in their life-threatening states, the termination of their careers, or fatalities. In addition, extreme sports activities can trigger aggressive behavioral patterns for citizens, especially youngsters. For instance, children tend to be evoked by violent manifestations, including kicking, punching, or satisfying themselves when fighting off others via watching boxing matches, catalyzing their abrupt characters. The prohibition of thr