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It is argued that governments should spend more money on the development of local services like building new hotels for tourists or factories instead of spending on education and Healthcare. Do you agree or disagree?

It is argued that governments should spend more money on the development of local services like building new hotels for tourists or factories instead of spending on education and Healthcare. Eq2dq
In this day and age people hold different views about the expenses of authority. Although some people think that it is crucial to spend money on the modernisation of country, I believe that, officials should put an emphasis on educational institutions and well being of its citizens. On the one hand, a certain amount of money has to spend on healthcare services. Because of the environmental hazards and exhaust fumes, which pollutes the atmosphere, people face disagreeable problems and terrible ailments which is highly connected with heart system, respiratory diseases and cancer. In order to handle with this problems hospitals need more money to supply medications, vaccines or treatments. To some extents government should allocate money on this kind of health problems. Among these 3 main indispositions, Thorny issue is cancer. To find remedies and deal with this requires money. On the other hand, not only healthcare is essential but also educational system need to improvements by donating money of authority. There are some reasons, why administrations have to invest money on teaching. First and foremost reason is that Students the future of their country, being an educated person leads into making more positive impact on societal and economy. A country can benefit from accomplished students, in order to create such kind of human beings authority need to spend more money on coaching courses, they have to hire more talented teachers. In conclusion, However some think that government should take an important action in developing the local services, personally, I suppose that the most decisive things to be improved are education and healthy lifestyle compared to modernisation.
In this day and age
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
hold
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
views about the expenses of authority. Although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it is crucial to spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on the
Possible spelling mistake. 'modernisation' is British English.
modernisation
of country, I believe that, officials should put an emphasis on educational institutions and
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well being
of its citizens.

On the one hand, a certain amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
spend on healthcare services.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of the environmental hazards and exhaust fumes, which pollutes the atmosphere,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
face disagreeable problems and terrible ailments which is
highly
connected with heart system, respiratory diseases and cancer. In order to handle with
Did you mean "these"?
this
problems hospitals need more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to supply medications, vaccines or treatments. To
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "extents'" or "extent's"?
extents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should allocate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on this kind of health problems. Among these 3 main indispositions, Thorny issue is cancer. To find remedies and deal with this requires money.

On the other hand
, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
healthcare is essential
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
educational system need to improvements by donating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
of authority. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reasons, why administrations
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
invest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on teaching.
First
and foremost reason is that Students the future of their country, being an educated person leads into making more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impact on societal and economy. A country can benefit from accomplished students, in order to create such kind of human
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "beings'" or "being's"?
beings
authority need to spend more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on coaching courses, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
hire more talented teachers.

In conclusion
,
However
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should take an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
action in developing the local services,
personally
, I suppose that the most decisive things to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
are education and healthy lifestyle compared to
Possible spelling mistake. 'modernisation' is British English.
modernisation
.
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IELTS essay It is argued that governments should spend more money on the development of local services like building new hotels for tourists or factories instead of spending on education and Healthcare.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
267 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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