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It is argued by some that it is better for people who are loyal to the same organisation throughout their working life, while there are others who argue that it is better to work for many organisations. discuss

It is argued by some that it is better for people who are loyal to the same organisation throughout their working life, while there are others who argue that it is better to work for many organisations. discuss JqojE
It is argued by some that it is better for people who are loyal to the same organisation throughout their working life, while there are others who argue that it is better to work for many organisations. I believe that it’s better to work for different organisations to gain work experience from different companies. On the one hand, many think it is easier to climb up the corporate ladder if you work in the same organisation for many years. In other words, if a person has dedicated themselves to a company for multiple years or even decades they could find themselves on the line for many big promotions or even big pay raises, or maybe even both. On the other hand, many people also think that by working in different organisations they can increase their experience over many different fields and prove themselves as a worthy asset. Such people work for whoever is the highest bidder for their services. For example, my friend’s mother works as data analyst but her services are up for offer for the highest bidder as she has worked for HCL, HP, Lenovo and other big organisations. Finally, in my opinion, I believe that working for various organisations over the period of the work years can prove to be more beneficial as a person gets to build a good profile and get more and more knowledge about the field experience. It can also lead to a person making many useful contacts throughout many organisations. In conclusion, even though there are many benefits to working in the same organisation, I feel that the knowledge gained otherwise is much greater. In the end, it does depend on the person’s own choice.
It
is argued
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
that it is better for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who are loyal to the same
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisation' is British English.
organisation
throughout their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
life, while there are others who argue that it is better to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisations' is British English.
organisations
. I believe that it’s better to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisations' is British English.
organisations
to gain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
experience from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
.

On the one hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it is easier to climb up the corporate ladder if you
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in the same
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisation' is British English.
organisation
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
years. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
words, if a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
has dedicated themselves to a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
for multiple years or even decades they could find themselves on the line for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
promotions or even
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
pay raises, or maybe even both.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisations' is British English.
organisations
they can increase their experience over
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
fields and prove themselves as a worthy asset. Such
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
for whoever is the highest bidder for their services.
For example
, my friend’s mother works as data analyst
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
her services are up for offer for the highest bidder as she has worked for HCL, HP, Lenovo and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisations' is British English.
organisations
.

Finally
, in my opinion, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
for various
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisations' is British English.
organisations
over the period of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
years can prove to be more beneficial as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
to build a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
profile and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
more and more knowledge about the field experience. It can
also
lead to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
making
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
useful contacts throughout
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisations' is British English.
organisations
.

In conclusion
,
even though
there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
benefits to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
in the same
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisation' is British English.
organisation
, I feel that the knowledge gained
otherwise
is much greater. In the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
, it does depend on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
choice.
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IELTS essay It is argued by some that it is better for people who are loyal to the same organisation throughout their working life, while there are others who argue that it is better to work for many organisations. discuss

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
283 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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