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It is a natural process when animal species become extinct. There is no reason why people should stop happening this. Do you agree or disagree? v.2

It is a natural process when animal species become extinct. There is no reason why people should stop happening this. v. 2
The process of disappearing animal’s kinds is often believed to be caused by nature. I strongly agree that people should not interfere in the activities of nature. Firstly this essay will discuss the possible damaging effect of people’s intervention, and secondly, it will analyze the wisdom of nature as higher intelligence. The primary reason why humanity should not stop the process of fading some animal species is that there is a threat of making mistakes which could lead to the natural catastrophe. Rarely do people realize that humanity intruding as genetic Engineering in natural life can be a cause of a horrible mutation. Thus, By interfering in this process people could get unpredicted results as mass death of animals or epidemic catastrophes in the long run. For example, having researched asian insects British, scientists have revealed that genetic experiments under asian Bug led to the mutation, which became the cause of the epidemy in the asian region in 2003. Another point to consider is that nature is more intelligent than humanity, at least during a few past billions of years. On no account should natural ways of acting should be ignored or argued by people. Therefore, by the extinction of some animal kinds, nature lets evolution move forward, create new species and eliminate unviable animals. A prime example is dinosaurs, if they had not perished, humanity probably would not have survived. In conclusion, I am convinced that the key to success is not interfering in such a natural process as animal extinction. this is because it could make more harm than profit and, besides this, nature is wiser than humanity.
The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
process
of disappearing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal’s
kinds is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
believed to
be caused
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nature
. I
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should not interfere in the activities of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nature
.
Firstly
this essay will discuss the possible damaging effect of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
intervention, and
secondly
, it will analyze the wisdom of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nature
as higher intelligence.

The primary reason why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humanity
should not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
process
of fading
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
species is that there is a threat of making mistakes which could lead to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
catastrophe. Rarely do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
realize that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humanity
intruding as genetic Engineering in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
life can be a cause of a horrible mutation.
Thus
, By interfering in this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
process
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
Possible spelling mistake found.
unpredicted
results as mass death of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
or epidemic catastrophes in the long run.
For example
, having researched
Possible spelling mistake found.
asian
insects British, scientists have revealed that genetic experiments under
Possible spelling mistake found.
asian
Bug led to the mutation, which became the cause of the
Possible spelling mistake found.
epidemy
in the
Possible spelling mistake found.
asian
region in 2003.

Another point to consider is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nature
is more intelligent than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humanity
, at least during a few past billions of years. On no account should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
ways of acting should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignored
or argued by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Therefore
, by the extinction of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
kinds,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nature
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lets
evolution
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
forward, create new species and eliminate unviable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
. A prime example is dinosaurs, if they had not perished,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humanity
probably
would not have survived.

In conclusion
, I
am convinced
that the key to success is not interfering in such a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
process
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
extinction.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
this
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
more harm than profit and,
besides
this,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nature
is wiser than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humanity
.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
30Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes

IELTS essay It is a natural process when animal species become extinct. There is no reason why people should stop happening this. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
270 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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