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It is a natural process when animal species become extinct. There is no reason why people should stop happening this. Do you agree or disagree? v.1

It is a natural process when animal species become extinct. There is no reason why people should stop happening this. v. 1
Most of the countries of the world have two governing bodies responsible to run schools in the society, the state run schools and the private schools. The private schools are mostly associated with the elite strata of the society, whereas the state run schools are considered to be for the less privileged. This essay strongly agrees that government funding should be reserved for the masses, as the rich class can take care of themselves and do not require government support. To begin with, private schools cater to the niche crowd of the society who are willing to pay the extra bucks for quality of education matching the global standards. Whereas the state run schools are more focused on developing the skills of the students and train them to be able to survive and find an employment for themselves. For instance, the private school’s curriculum may differ from the state run school as they match their syllabus to the British and Spanish schools. The agenda of the government is to provide jobs to the masses, whereas the focus of private schools is to prepare the students for a global level of competition. There are many underprivileged people who need the support of the government. Hence, they should utilize the funds on uplifting the masses. Furthermore, the number of private schools in a given state or country is lesser than the state run schools, as in any given society, the people at the top of the pyramid are lesser as compared to the bottom of it. So, there are a few schools only which can be overlooked by the government and divert its attention and funding to the vast majority of people who need a formal education to make them skilled enough to get an employment opportunity. The government should utilize these funds by opening more schools and increasing the literacy rate of the country. To exemplify, the funds allocated to the private schools can be used to open vocational training centrs' for the lower class. Overall the resources are limited and need to be managed efficiently. To conclude, this essay discussed how government funding is necessary for the development of the majority as compared to the elite few. In my opinion, I strongly agree that the state should concentrate all the funds necessary to provide basic education to its countrymen rather than allowing it to be utilized by some private institutes which are self-sufficient.
Most of the countries of the world have two governing bodies responsible to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
run
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
state
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
run
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
are
mostly
associated with the elite strata of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
, whereas the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
state
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
run
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
are considered
to be for the less privileged. This essay
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agrees
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
funding should
be reserved
for the masses, as the rich
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
can take care of themselves and do not require
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
support.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
cater to the niche crowd of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
who are willing to pay the extra bucks for quality of education matching the global standards. Whereas the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
state
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
run
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
are more focused on developing the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
of the students and train them to be able to survive and find an employment for themselves.
For instance
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school’s
curriculum may differ from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
state
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
run
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
as they match their syllabus to the British and Spanish
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
. The agenda of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
is to provide jobs to the masses, whereas the focus of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
is to prepare the students for a global level of competition. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
underprivileged
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who need the support of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
.
Hence
, they should utilize the funds on uplifting the masses.

Furthermore
, the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
in a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
state
or country is lesser than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
state
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
run
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
, as in any
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
at the top of the pyramid are lesser
Comparison requires "than", not 'then' nor 'as'.
as
compared to the bottom of it.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, there are a few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
which can
be overlooked
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
and divert its attention and funding to the vast majority of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who need a formal education to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them skilled
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
an employment opportunity. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should utilize these funds by opening more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
and increasing the literacy rate of the country. To exemplify, the funds allocated to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to open vocational training
Possible spelling mistake found.
centrs
' for the lower
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
.
Overall
the resources
are limited
and need to
be managed
efficiently
.

To conclude
, this essay discussed how
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
funding is necessary for the development of the majority as compared to the elite few. In my opinion, I
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
state
should concentrate all the funds necessary to provide basic education to its countrymen
rather
than allowing it to
be utilized
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
institutes which are self-sufficient.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay It is a natural process when animal species become extinct. There is no reason why people should stop happening this. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
403 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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