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It is a fact that the majority of people who are sent to prison commit further crime after their release.

It is a fact that the majority of people who are sent to prison commit further crime after their release. NV90m
It is a sad fact that criminals who leave prison go on to commit further crime. There are various reasons for this, but there are also some things that can be done to prevent it from happening. One reason for this recidivism is due to a lack of legitimate income. Many people turn to crime as they cannot find an alternative to earn money. When such person comes out of prison, it is very often the case that they have the same few opportunities for a legitimate income. In fact, these opportunities will even be reduced, as employers are often less willing to give an ex-prisoner a job. Some people also return to crime, as they spend all the time of their prison sentence with other criminals. This is not a great environment for rehabilitation, and sometimes even a network of contacts can be made to help develop criminal activities on release. One important way to help address this problem is education. Criminals who have turned to illegal activities because of no alternatives to earn a living need to learn a way to earn a wage, such as a trade or vocational skills. Computer skills, for example, are in high demand and someone trained in these could very possibly find work. In addition, governments can offer incentives to employers to attract them to give jobs to newly-released prisoners. This would help people who don’t really want to return to crime achieve a fresh start. As keeping people in prison is an expensive business, governments might find it cheaper to pay these incentives. To sum up, people returning to crime is a tragedy that should be avoided if at all possible in today’s society. Education and incentives can directly address the reasons for it and could make society a happier and safer place.
It is a sad fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
go on to commit
further
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
. There are various reasons for this,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
there are
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
things that can
be done
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
it from happening.

One reason for this recidivism is due to a lack of legitimate income.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
turn to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
as they cannot find an alternative to earn money. When such person
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
out of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
the case that they have the same few opportunities for a legitimate income. In fact, these opportunities will even be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
, as employers are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
less willing to give an ex-prisoner a job.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
also
return to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
, as they spend all the time of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
sentence with other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
. This is not a great environment for rehabilitation, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
even a network of contacts can
be made
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
develop
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
activities on release.

One
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
address this problem is education.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Criminals
who have turned to illegal activities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of no alternatives to earn a living need to learn a way to earn a wage, such as a trade or vocational
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
. Computer
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
,
for example
, are in high demand and someone trained in these could
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
possibly
find work.
In addition
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
can offer incentives to employers to attract them to give jobs to
newly
-released prisoners. This would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who don’t
really
want to return to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
achieve a fresh
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
. As keeping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
is an expensive business,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
might find it cheaper to pay these incentives.

To sum up,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
returning to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
is a tragedy that should
be avoided
if at all possible in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s society. Education and incentives can
directly
address the reasons for it and could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
society a happier and safer place.
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IELTS essay It is a fact that the majority of people who are sent to prison commit further crime after their release.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
302 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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