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As time goes by, technologies improve and are starting to become a big part of our lives.

As time goes by, technologies improve and are starting to become a big part of our lives. KWRe0
As time goes by, technologies improve and are starting to become a big part of our lives. Many home appliances such as dishwashers, washing machines, robot vacuums are essentially doing and are able to accomplish the work that would otherwise be done by humans which would have taken more time. People nowadays are spending less and less time doing house work and will have more time focusing on themselves as an individual. Some people are concerned that as these technologies are becoming increasingly intelligent, many of our regular jobs will be substituted with robots and machines. There are definitely many advantages to this. First of all, machines are more efficient at doing certain tasks, such as in a car factory assembly line, or something that does not require creative thinking skills or any adaptation to solve the situation being presented to the workers. For this reason, nearly all vehicle companies around the world already implement machines and automate many of their processes to reduce production cost, streamline the process and gain more profits. Tasks that can be accomplished by machines will be replaced by machines eventually and it’s almost inevitable. In a developed country such as the US, even some garbage trucks have robotic arms to pick up the trash can, empty it and put it back in place with perfection. While that sounds great, people who are affected by that change would certainly not be happy. By switching to robots and machines, many people will lose their jobs, and not many people will be able to recover from the devastated loss. Some minimum wage jobs are already being replaced, such as “self-service” cashiers replacing a regular cashier. Personally, I think that even though many of our jobs are being replaced with robots and machines, we as humans can definitely benefit from that change more than we suffer. Machines provide efficiency and time for us to develop ourselves to be a better, smarter human being everyday, which means that in the future, more and more jobs will be created, some that don’t even exist today.
As
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
goes by, technologies
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
and are starting to become a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
part of our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
home appliances such as dishwashers, washing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
, robot vacuums are
essentially
doing and are able to accomplish the work that would
otherwise
be done
by humans which would have taken more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
nowadays are spending less and less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
doing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
work and will have more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
focusing on themselves as an individual.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are concerned
that as these technologies are becoming
increasingly
intelligent,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of our regular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
will
be substituted
with robots and machines.

There are definitely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
advantages to this.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
are more efficient at doing certain tasks, such as in a car factory assembly line, or something that does not require creative thinking
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
or any adaptation to solve the situation
being presented
to the workers.
For this reason
,
nearly
all vehicle
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
around the world already implement
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
and automate
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of their processes to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
production cost, streamline the process and gain more profits. Tasks that can
be accomplished
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
will
be replaced
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
eventually
and it’s almost inevitable. In a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developed country
such as the US, even
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
garbage trucks have robotic arms to pick up the trash can, empty it and put it back in place with perfection.

While that sounds great,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
by that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
would
certainly
not be happy. By switching to robots and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will lose their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
, and not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will be able to recover from the devastated loss.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
minimum wage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
are already
being replaced
, such as “self-service” cashiers replacing a regular cashier.

Personally
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
even though
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
are
being replaced
with robots and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
, we as humans can definitely benefit from that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
more than we suffer.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Machines
provide efficiency and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for us to develop ourselves to be a better, smarter human being
'Everyday' is an adjective. Did you mean "every day"?
everyday
, which means that in the future, more and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
will
be created
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
that don’t even exist
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
.
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IELTS essay As time goes by, technologies improve and are starting to become a big part of our lives.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
345 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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