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It is a commonly held belief that the death penalty is a good deterrent to prevent heinous crimes. However, others believe that life long sentence is a better deterrent. Discuss both views. v.2

It is a commonly held belief that the death penalty is a good deterrent to prevent heinous crimes. However, others believe that life long sentence is a better deterrent. v. 2
It is undoubtedly clear that every crime has to be punished and there are varying opinions on the method of punishments to be given for each felony. A good number of people believe that the ultimate penalty of death is the best option for heinous offence and they do even believe that this sentencing can prevent such actions. Some others believe in lifetime sentencing for atrocities. In this essay, I intend to delve into both the views on this heated topic. First of all, penalties should be in such a way that, it won’t be repeated in the future and moreover that, it should remind people the consequences or after effects and should keep the citizens away from committing the fault. Secondly, death warrant can be considered unsuitable punishment for several reasons. Right to live is the basic right of any human being, and no one can infringe this right, irrespective of the person’s deeds. Furthermore, innocent people can face wrongful execution. And besides, sometimes criminals repent of their acts. In this case, they should be given a second chance to improve themselves. As judicial execution can’t be revoked, it will be a wrong choice of disciplinary action. Therefore, the only viable privilege is to go for various modes of punishments depending on the intensity of the crime. For heinous crimes, life long sentencing is a better choice, where, the concerned can regret and can transform themselves. On the other hand, keeping the prisoners in the jail is costly in terms of security, workforce and other expenses such as food, shelter, etc. In addition, from an economic point of view, for a criminal to have millions spent on them, cannot be justified. Judicial killing is sometimes the best benefit as it lessens the governmental expenses, frightens people and thus prevent them from doing the misdeed in future. For example, most of the countries have implemented the execution as the capital punishment for those caught in terrorist activities. In India, one among the terrorists is executed in 2016, by considering the legalised killing is the ultimate forfeiture. To sum up, there are pros and cons to both death penalty and a life sentence. Developing morality in citizens from the school time can lessen the case rate. A moralistic civic can create a better nation where the intensity of offence will be less, where, the decision of the judiciary on the mode of trial can be asserted.
It is
undoubtedly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that every crime
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
be punished
and there are varying opinions on the method of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishments
to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
for each felony. A
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that the ultimate penalty of death is the best option for heinous
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
offence and
they do even believe that this sentencing can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
such actions.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
others believe in lifetime sentencing for atrocities. In this essay, I intend to delve into both the views on this heated topic.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, penalties should be in such a way that, it won’t
be repeated
in the future and
moreover
that, it should remind
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
the consequences or after effects and should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
the citizens away from committing the fault.
Secondly
, death warrant can
be considered
unsuitable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
for several reasons. Right to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
is the basic right of any human being, and no one can infringe this right, irrespective of the person’s deeds.
Furthermore
, innocent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can face wrongful execution. And
besides
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
criminals repent of their acts.
In this case
, they should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
a second chance to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
themselves. As judicial execution can’t
be revoked
, it will be a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
choice of disciplinary action.
Therefore
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
viable privilege is to go for various modes of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishments
depending on the intensity of the crime. For heinous crimes, life long sentencing is a better choice, where, the concerned can regret and can transform themselves.

On the other hand
, keeping the prisoners in the jail is costly in terms of security, workforce and other expenses such as food, shelter, etc.
In addition
, from an economic point of view, for a criminal to have millions spent on them, cannot
be justified
. Judicial killing is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
the best benefit as it lessens the governmental expenses, frightens
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and
thus
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
them from doing the misdeed
Did you mean: "in the future"?
in future
.
For example
, most of the countries have implemented the execution as the capital
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
for those caught in terrorist activities. In India, one among the terrorists
is executed
in 2016, by considering the
Possible spelling mistake. 'legalised' is British English.
legalised
killing is the ultimate forfeiture.

To sum up, there are pros and cons to both death penalty and a life sentence. Developing morality in citizens from the school time can lessen the case rate. A moralistic civic can create a better nation where the intensity of
Possible spelling mistake. 'offence' is British English.
offence
will be less, where, the decision of the judiciary on the mode of trial can
be asserted
.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes
As a hawk flieth not high with one wing, even so a man reacheth not to excellence with one tongue.
Roger Ascham

IELTS essay It is a commonly held belief that the death penalty is a good deterrent to prevent heinous crimes. However, others believe that life long sentence is a better deterrent. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
405 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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