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It is a common aspiration among many young people to run their own business, rather than work for an employer. Do you think the advantages of working for yourself outweigh the drawbacks?

Many young individuals are currently opening their own business instead of working for other employers. This tendency certainly has both benefits and drawbacks, which will be discussed in this essay. To begin with, there are some advantages which could encourage young people to run their own business. Firstly, business owners can learn many useful things that can never be provided if they work for an employer. They will not only enhance their business-related skills such as marketing or sales, but they can also broaden their management abilities. For example, the manager of a company has to care about all the details like the financial status or his workers’ productivity. Secondly, people who start a business can freely make their own decisions without having to ask anyone for permission. This allows business owners to be more independent and decisive. Finally, because these individuals earn money for themselves, they are likely to have more incentive to work and generate values for the society. However, a few disadvantages should be carefully considered by young people if they want to start a business. When running a company, people might face some obstacles such as where to get the capital or how to attract customers. If they cannot come up with solutions for these difficulties, their business might die after a short period. Also, company owners must handle great responsibilities, so they could suffer from a lot of stress. Furthermore, if people work for an employer, they can learn from the better and more experienced individuals. When working for themselves, they barely get advice from anyone and might end up with failures. In conclusion, I personally believe that the benefits of opening business outweigh its drawbacks, and young individuals should be encouraged to do so.
Many
young
individuals
are
currently
opening their
own
business
instead
of working for other employers. This tendency
certainly
has both benefits and drawbacks, which will
be discussed
in this essay.

To
begin
with, there are
some
advantages which could encourage
young
people
to run their
own
business
.
Firstly
,
business
owners can learn
many
useful things that can never
be provided
if they work for an employer. They will not
only
enhance their business-related
skills
such as marketing or sales,
but
they can
also
broaden their management abilities.
For example
, the manager of a
company
has to
care about all the
details
like the financial status or his workers’ productivity.
Secondly
,
people
who
start
a
business
can
freely
make
their
own
decisions without having to ask anyone for permission. This
allows
business
owners to be more independent and decisive.
Finally
,
because
these
individuals
earn money for themselves, they are likely to have more incentive to work and generate values for the society.

However
, a few disadvantages should be
carefully
considered by
young
people
if they want to
start
a
business
. When running a
company
,
people
might face
some
obstacles such as where to
get
the capital or how to attract customers. If they cannot
come
up with solutions for these difficulties, their
business
might
die
after a short period.
Also
,
company
owners
must
handle great responsibilities,
so
they could suffer from
a lot of
stress
.
Furthermore
, if
people
work for an employer, they can learn from the better and more experienced
individuals
. When working for themselves, they
barely
get
advice from anyone and might
end
up with failures.

In conclusion
, I
personally
believe that the benefits of opening
business
outweigh its drawbacks, and
young
individuals
should
be encouraged
to do
so
.
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IELTS essay It is a common aspiration among many young people to run their own business, rather than work for an employer. Do you think the advantages of working for yourself outweigh the drawbacks?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
290 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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