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It is a common aspiration among many young people to run their own business, rather than work for an employer.  Do you think the advantages of working for yourself outweigh the drawbacks? 

In this essay I am going to opinionate about the disadvantages and benefits of working for yourself in your years of early adulthood. These days, when it is getting easier and easier to earn money without much experience, many young people choose to build a business by themselves, with a group of friends or acquaintances. Running a business can be a huge responsibility, because your whole livelihood and that of your employees depends on your decisions and efforts. If you decide to take a vacation, you have to take into account, that only you are able to solve certain issues, which could mean that your staff calls you while you are trying to relax. There is the vast amount of stress that it takes to start something from scratch and not know if you will succeed or no. While this can sound disturbing, working for yourself does have many positive aspects. You can do your schedule for yourself, decide if you want to take some time off or simply just work from home one day. You do not have to explain every little decision or mistake to your boss or bosses, because you don’t have one. Another important side is the financial angle. In a good, well-built business, the boss takes the most of the money home, or decides what to do with it, which gives a big gain in life. In my family, both of my parents have a business that they run, so I have a great example of how to guide many people, what the drawbacks and advantages are of this topic. In my opinion, running your own business is all worth it, because you can do what you really like and have financial stability as well.
In this essay I am going to
opinionate
about the disadvantages and benefits of working for yourself in your years of early adulthood.

These days, when it is getting easier and easier to earn money without much experience,
many
young
people
choose to build a
business
by themselves, with a group of friends or acquaintances.

Running a
business
can be a huge responsibility,
because
your whole livelihood and that of your employees depends on your decisions and efforts. If you decide to take a vacation, you
have to
take into account, that
only
you are able to solve certain issues, which could mean that your staff calls you while you are trying to relax.

There is the vast amount of
stress
that it takes to
start
something from scratch and not know if you will succeed or no.

While this can sound disturbing, working for yourself does have
many
positive
aspects. You can do your schedule for yourself, decide if you want to take
some
time off or
simply
just
work from home one day. You do not
have to
explain
every
little
decision or mistake to your boss or bosses,
because
you don’t have one.

Another
important
side is the financial angle. In a
good
, well-built
business
, the boss takes the most of the money home, or decides what to do with it, which gives a
big
gain in life.

In my family, both of my parents have a
business
that they run,
so
I have a great example of how to guide
many
people
, what the drawbacks and advantages are of this topic.
In
my opinion, running your
own
business
is all worth it,
because
you can do what you
really
like and have financial stability
as well
.
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IELTS essay It is a common aspiration among many young people to run their own business, rather than work for an employer. Do you think the advantages of working for yourself outweigh the drawbacks?

Essay
  American English
7 paragraphs
290 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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