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The most important consideration when choosing any career or job is having a high income. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Choosing a future work career is one of the most important decisions in peoples lives. Many people claim that a high salary should be the first factor when finding work place while others believe we should focus on other things rather than money. In my opinion, high income is not an indicator of your career. On one hand, most people prefer to work where they will be paid more to live happy in the future. It is clear that money plays a big role in society and earning a lot of money gives us more opportunities. Having a high income helps to live in better conditions and enjoy every moment without worry. For example, teenagers make money from their hobbies such as blogging, as they know that it is good to have own income. That is one of the reasons why high salary is one of the attractive factors while choosing a job. On the other hand, money cannot be the most important consideration because it does not contain all aspects of life. If you do not have a favourite job or an appropriate workplace even you are paid a lot of money, it cannot make you happy. Keeping balance between career and family, working with love make life more colourful and meaningful. For instance, we cannot study science for the fact that scientists have a high salary if we not keen on this sphere. Therefore, choosing career should be based on our interests and hobbies. To sum up, I do not agree with the statement that money must be an indicating factor when choosing a future job. Instead job opportunities and our preferences should be in priority, as working is what makes us successful.
Choosing a future work career is one of the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
decisions in peoples
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
claim that a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
salary should be the
first
factor when finding work place while others believe we should focus on other things
rather
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
. In my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
income is not an indicator of your career.

On one hand, most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
prefer to work where they will
be paid
more to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
happy in the future. It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
plays a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
role in society and earning
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
gives us more opportunities. Having a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
income
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in better conditions and enjoy every moment without worry.
For example
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
from their hobbies such as blogging, as they know that it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
to have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
income.
That is
one of the reasons why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
salary is one of the attractive factors while choosing a job.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
cannot be the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
consideration
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it does not contain all aspects of life. If you do not have a
Possible spelling mistake. ‘favourite’ is British English.
favourite
job or an appropriate workplace even you
are paid
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
, it cannot
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
you happy. Keeping balance between career and family, working with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
life more
Possible spelling mistake. ‘colourful’ is British English.
colourful
and meaningful.
For instance
, we cannot study science for the fact that scientists have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
salary if we not keen on this sphere.
Therefore
, choosing career should
be based
on our interests and hobbies.

To sum up, I do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the statement that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be an indicating factor when choosing a future job.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Instead
job opportunities and our preferences should be in priority, as working is what
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
us successful.
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IELTS essay The most important consideration when choosing any career or job is having a high income.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
285 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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