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It has been said that the world is becoming a global village in which there are no boundaries to trade and communication. Do the benefits of globalization outweigh the drawbacks? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own k v.3

It has been said that the world is becoming a global village in which there are no boundaries to trade and communication. Do the benefits of globalization outweigh the drawbacks? 3
There is a tendency that the boundaries between different countries have become less evident due to the development of globalization. Personally, I think this phenomenon could bring more merits than demerits, which I will elaborate further in the following paragraphs. On one hand, globalization has several benefits. Firstly, more multi-national enterprises establish factories in less-developed countries, which could generate employment opportunities, so that people would have a higher income. This could increase the national productivity and contribute to the economic growth. Secondly, the price of products has been reduced due to the fierce competition between local producers and international producers. Thus, consumers could enjoy goods with more reasonable price. Plus, free trade enables people to have a wider range of products to buy. Consequently, the standard of living of people could be raised. Lastly, with more cooperation and communication between countries, misunderstanding and conflicts can be effectively reduced. This can help strengthen political relationships and facilitate a harmonious world. On the other hand, globalization is not always beneficial. To begin with, enormous enterprises move their countries to developing countries for lower labor force and materials costs. This phenomenon could lead to job loss in developed countries. Therefore, unemployed citizens might develop resentment towards the government and even protest against the government. This would impair social stability. Furthermore, globalization provides people exposure to different cultures, some people especially youngsters might imitate and admire other cultures blindly. This would impair their sense of belonging to their nation and reduce their culture identity. For example, young people all over the world are fascinated by Hollywood blockbusters but have limited knowledge of films of their own country. In conclusion, although there are chances that globalization can affect people negatively, I believe that this trend could bring more pros than cons.
There is a tendency that the boundaries between
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
have become less evident due to the development of globalization.
Personally
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
this phenomenon could bring more merits than demerits, which I will elaborate
further
in the following paragraphs.

On one hand, globalization has several benefits.
Firstly
, more multi-national enterprises establish factories in less-developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, which could generate employment opportunities,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
would have a higher income. This could increase the national productivity and contribute to the economic growth.
Secondly
, the price of products has been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
due to the fierce competition between local producers and international producers.
Thus
, consumers could enjoy
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
with more reasonable price. Plus, free trade enables
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to have a wider range of products to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
.
Consequently
, the standard of living of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
could
be raised
.
Lastly
, with more cooperation and communication between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, misunderstanding and conflicts can be
effectively
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
. This can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
strengthen political relationships and facilitate a harmonious world.

On the other hand
, globalization is not always beneficial. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, enormous enterprises
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
to developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
for lower labor force and materials costs. This phenomenon could lead to job loss in developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
Therefore
, unemployed citizens might develop resentment towards the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
and even protest against the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
. This would impair social stability.
Furthermore
, globalization provides
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
exposure to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
cultures,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
especially
youngsters might imitate and admire other cultures
blindly
. This would impair their sense of belonging to their nation and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
their culture identity.
For example
, young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
all over the world
are fascinated
by Hollywood blockbusters
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
have limited knowledge of films of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
country.

In conclusion
, although there are chances that globalization can affect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
negatively
, I believe that this trend could bring more pros than cons.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
13Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay It has been said that the world is becoming a global village in which there are no boundaries to trade and communication. Do the benefits of globalization outweigh the drawbacks? 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
296 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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