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It has always been a question about what to do when an unpleasant event happens to us. While some individuals think it is best to accept the situation, I would argue that it is better to make an effort to improve it.

It has always been a question about what to do when an unpleasant event happens to us. While some individuals think it is best to accept the situation, I would argue that it is better to make an effort to improve it. eOLx
It has always been a question about what to do when an unpleasant event happens to us. While some individuals think it is best to accept the situation, I would argue that it is better to make an effort to improve it. Advocates of accepting a bad situation might think this is the best option because it does not waste their time and effort to change something which is out of their control. For example, people might feel some aspects of work cannot be improved to be more satisfactory because they cannot involve in decision making process; or if people lost money because of a sudden change in the market, there is nothing they could do about it. In these situations, it would be reasonable to accept the condition rather than trying to do something about it which apparently is just a waste of time and effort. However, I believe that it is much better to attempt to change a situation. Firstly, we will learn something in the process of trying. To illustrate, when we try to change unsatisfying aspects of the work we might enhance presentation and persuading skills to present our ideas to managers to ask for improvements in the job; or when we have financial difficulty and attempt to do something about it, we might learn about financial management skills. Secondly, we will be happier and more fulfilled if we try to change a bad situation because of the promisingly better outcomes. For instance, a disappointing job can become more rewarding, or we could overcome the situation of lacking money and have financial stability. These scenarios do not only give us more motivation to rise above the situation but also will bring happiness to us when we try, and get the outcome as we want. Lastly, as people say, we never know if we do not try, thus, we will stand a better chance to get a more satisfying job or to have more money if we try rather than just accepting the situation. In conclusion, although there is an understanding reason for accepting a bad luck, I think that it is better to make an attempt to improve the situation.
It has always been a question about what to do when an unpleasant
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
happens to us. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
individuals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it is best to accept the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situation
, I would argue that it is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
an effort to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
it.

Advocates of accepting a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
this is the best option
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it does not waste their time and effort to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
something
which is out of their control.
For example
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
feel
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
aspects of work cannot be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
to be more satisfactory
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they cannot involve in
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
decision making
process; or if
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
lost money
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of a sudden
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
in the market, there is nothing they could do about it. In these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situations
, it would be reasonable to accept the condition
rather
than trying to do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
something
about it which
apparently
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
a waste of time and effort.

However
, I believe that it is much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
to attempt to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situation
.
Firstly
, we will learn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
something
in the process of trying. To illustrate, when we try to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
unsatisfying aspects of the work we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
enhance presentation and persuading
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
to present our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
to managers to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ask for
improvements in the job; or when we have financial difficulty and attempt to do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
something
about it, we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
learn about financial management
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.
Secondly
, we will be happier and more fulfilled if we try to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situation
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the
promisingly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
outcomes.
For instance
, a disappointing job can become more rewarding, or we could overcome the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situation
of lacking money and have financial stability. These scenarios do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
give us more motivation to rise above the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situation
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
will bring happiness to us when we try, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the outcome as we want.
Lastly
, as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
say, we never know if we do not try,
thus
, we will stand a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
chance to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a more satisfying job or to have more money if we try
rather
than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
accepting the situation.

In conclusion
, although there is an understanding reason for accepting a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
luck, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
an attempt to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situation
.
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IELTS essay It has always been a question about what to do when an unpleasant event happens to us. While some individuals think it is best to accept the situation, I would argue that it is better to make an effort to improve it.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
364 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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