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It goes without saying that working for society is always good and rewarding for all to learn a lot of thing about our social bond

It goes without saying that working for society is always good and rewarding for all to learn a lot of thing about our social bond. However, when teenagers do work without any money desire which gives them peace of mind and to use their free time. An argument has been put forward that teenagers should be required to do unpaid community work in their free time and it can be beneficial for them. According to me. This statement holds a valid ground. There are a plethora of reasons why I think teenagers should do unpaid community work. First and foremost point which comes to my mind that when teenagers will do work for society then they can learn about their society life, because in future teenagers will become a crucial part of the society. Secondly, community work can also play indispensable role in teenagers life, which they can learn team work and how to do behave with other, because teen-age is the best part of the life when children can learn a lot of good things and become a good member of society. Thirdly, teenagers can learn about their culture to work at culture events and social events, when they do unpaid work at social and cultural events then teenagers can help of needy people, because then they do work for helping them. In conclusion, after ponder over a great deal of thoughts and deliberation with my self. I come to this conclusion that teenagers must do up paid work for society and culture. Because when they do community work then they understand and learn a lot of things our society and they will become a good human beings.
It goes without saying that working for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
is always
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
and rewarding for all to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
Possible agreement error. The noun thing seems to be countable; consider using: “a lot of things”.
a lot of thing
about our social bond.
However
, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
without any money desire which gives them peace of mind and to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
their free time. An argument has
been put
forward that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
should
be required
to do unpaid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in their free
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
time and
it can be beneficial for them.
This phrase can sound awkward in English. Consider using “in my opinion” or “I think”.
According to me
. This statement holds a valid ground.

There are a plethora of reasons why I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
should do unpaid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
.
First
and foremost point which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to my mind that when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
will do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
then they can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
about their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
life,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
in future
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
will become a crucial part of the society.

Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
can
also
play indispensable role in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
life, which they can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
team
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and how to do behave with other,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
teen-age is the best part of the life when children can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
things and become a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
member of society.

Thirdly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
about their culture to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
at culture
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
and social
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
, when they do unpaid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
at social and cultural
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
then
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of needy
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
then they do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
for helping them.

In conclusion
, after ponder over a great deal of thoughts and deliberation with my self. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to this conclusion that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
do up paid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
and culture.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
when they do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
then they understand and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
things our
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
society and
they will become a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
human beings.
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IELTS essay It goes without saying that working for society is always good and rewarding for all to learn a lot of thing about our social bond

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
279 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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