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Is there any natural problem more important than the loss of particular species of plants and animals

Is there any natural problem more important than the loss of particular species of plants and animals eEp7x
A number of humans allegate that nowadays, the most crucial environmental issue is the extinction of specific genres of plants and animals. Against this, there is also another widespread opinion that claims the existence of many more big ecological problems. In this essay, I will try to explain the possible negative consequences of extinction comparing any other environmental disasters according to my knowledge. First, the extinction of particular species has vital disadvantages like the disruption of natural balance. Normally, it is a perfectly functioning system basely according to the alimentation with all types of alive in it. However, as a result of ecological extraordinary situations or a various number of external interventions, some species have extinct or endangered of extinction, and it may be the reason for another extinction according to the nutrient chain. For example, polar bears or penguins have that risk, because of the melting of glaciers under the effect of unusual climate change. In addition, some sea creatures become extinct due to overfishing. If there was a lack of fish in the sea, it would create a bad influence on the persistence of species that are being fed by fish. On the other hand, there are also other staminal environmental obstacles. For instance, dryness is one of the main ones. All existing need water and nutrition for surviving, and dryness affects both of them. It would be impossible to breed agricultural products without natural sources of water. Therefore, it would be the cause of famine. In addition, water is also necessary for hygienic issues against diseases because of germs. According to my opinion, despite extinction being a crucial ecological problem against specific genres, dryness is an obstacle that could constitute the risk of the destruction of the World. So, dryness can be the main environmental problem of our time.
A number of humans
Possible spelling mistake found.
allegate
that nowadays, the most crucial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
issue is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extinction
of specific genres of plants and animals. Against this, there is
also
another widespread opinion that claims the existence of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
ecological problems. In this essay, I will try to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
the possible
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
consequences of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extinction
comparing any other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
disasters according to my knowledge.

First
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extinction
of particular species has vital disadvantages like the disruption of natural balance.
Normally
, it is a
perfectly
functioning system
basely
according to the alimentation with all types of alive in it.
However
,
as a result
of ecological extraordinary situations or a various number of external interventions,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
species have extinct or endangered of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extinction
, and it may be the reason for another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extinction
according to the nutrient chain.
For example
, polar bears or penguins have that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the melting of glaciers under the effect of unusual climate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
.
In addition
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
sea creatures become extinct due to overfishing. If there was a lack of fish in the sea, it would create a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
influence on the persistence of species that are
being fed
by fish.

On the other hand
, there are
also
other
Possible spelling mistake found.
staminal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
obstacles.
For instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dryness
is one of the main ones. All existing need water and nutrition for surviving, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dryness
affects both of them. It would be impossible to breed agricultural products without natural sources of water.
Therefore
, it would be the cause of famine.
In addition
, water is
also
necessary for hygienic issues against diseases
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of germs.

According to my opinion, despite
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extinction
being a crucial ecological problem against specific genres,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dryness
is an obstacle that could constitute the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of the destruction of the World.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dryness
can be the main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
problem of our time.
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IELTS essay Is there any natural problem more important than the loss of particular species of plants and animals

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
302 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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